The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Vote: has 36.51 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
Vote: has 36.23 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, military, war
Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, soccer, sport
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, Facebook
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness, work
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
Vote: has 35.32 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
Vote: has 35.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Vote: has 35.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, death