Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Chuck Norris' Motto is: "The beard is mightier than the sword."
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Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
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Salmon swim upstream because Chuck Norris is downstream.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
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Christano Roanaldo dives because he thinks of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us.
The only difference is, then he kills people.
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Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of scrabble using only numbers.
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