Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies.
He potato-sacks them.
Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk.
When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.