Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear steel toes, his toes already are.
Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.
Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
Think of the hottest woman. Chuck Norris did her.
Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris. Once.