Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear steel toes, his toes already are.
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Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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Think of the hottest woman.
Chuck Norris did her.
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Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
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Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
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The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
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Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris.
Once.
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