Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris. Once.
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".