Never tell Chuck Norris he lost the game because he will make you lose the game then roundhouse kick you in the face making you lose twice.
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Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
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Chuck Norris needs no introduction, but if you need an introduction, you need Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
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Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
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In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size.
When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
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Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face.
The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris inhales carbon monoxide and exhales oxygen.
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Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear a wristwatch.
He always knows when it's time to kick some ass.
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