Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
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Chuck Norris' pager is still cool.
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Someone tried to stab Chuck Norris in the stomach, and the knife bent on his rock-hard abs.
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After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
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When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
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Chuck Norris can paint himself into a corner and still get the job done.
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When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.
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