Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
Chuck Norris' pager is still cool.
Someone tried to stab Chuck Norris in the stomach, and the knife bent on his rock-hard abs.
After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
Chuck Norris can paint himself into a corner and still get the job done.
When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.