Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
The true reason why the Nazi's lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation.
Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".