Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
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The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
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Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you.
Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris.
Once.
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Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
Chuck Norris has 12 moons.
One of those moons is the Earth.
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Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
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When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
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Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation.
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After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris.
It was more "humane".
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