Q: Why did dinosaurs have sex under water? A: You try to keep five hundred pounds of pussy wet!
Yo momma is so old, they use strands of her hair to carbon date dinosaur fossils.
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
A woman stopped by our customer-service desk and asked me for a copy of the book that has Jesus in it. After much back-and-forth, I determined that she wanted the Bible. After searching for a particular book on dinosaurs in the science section without luck, a customer looked to me for help. She showed me a piece of paper with the title written on it: Thesaurus.
In some quarters, bookstores may be considered dinosaurs, but odd customers are evergreen, as these requests to bookstore clerks prove. "Can you tell me who the author of Shakespeare is?" "I'm looking for a book, but I only know the title, not the author. It's called Dante's Inferno." "I definitely don't want nonfiction. I like autobiographies and history." "Do you have Shakespeare in English?"
Q: What do you get when a dinosaur scores a touchdown? A: A dino-score.
A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over." Those children were the dinosaurs.
Q: What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A: A dino-snore!
A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area. The blonde exclaimed, "Wow! I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!"