The best dirty jokes

Q: What are three words you dread the most while making love? A: "Honey, I'm home."
Vote: has 82.30 % from 235 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, love
Q: How do you cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? A: Tell them you can't cum.
Vote: has 82.28 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, masturbation
A woman walks into a saloon and stands on a chair. "Fellas! My p***y is so big that I'll give $100 to anyone who has something that I can't take." A big cowboy gets up and takes off his size 16 cowboy boots and shoves them into her p***y. The boots are sucked right in. He grabs a flashlight and, that too, is sucked in. He puts his face in between her legs to get a better look and he gets sucked in. Inside he hears noises. "Is someone else in here?" he asks. "Yeah, I've been in here for a week," the voice says. "Help me find my flashlight and we can get out of here," the cowboy says. "Hell," says the other man, "help me find my keys and we can drive out."
Vote: has 82.25 % from 183 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cowboy, dirty, money, women
A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriends house and the girlfriend said to her mom, "Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room" and the mom says, "Ok honey, you kids have fun." When they are up their the mom hears: "Baby baby baby oh!" The mom walks to the door and ask, "What the hell is going on?" The girl says, "Mom were just having s*x." and the mom says, "Oh thank god I thought you guys were listening to Justin Bieber."
Vote: has 82.19 % from 402 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Q: How can you spot the blind guy in a nudist colony? A: It's not hard.
Vote: has 82.13 % from 308 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
A kid walks by his parents having sex asks what's going on and his mother tells him, "We are making fishsticks". The next day the kid says, "Mom were you making fishsticks again?" And she says "Why, yes, how did you know, honey?" And the kid replies, "Well, you have a little tarter sauce on your mouth."
Vote: has 82.10 % from 162 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Why do people say 'Grow some balls?' Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.
Vote: has 81.90 % from 830 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Two old ladies are walking through a museum and got separated. When they ran into each other later the first old lady said to the second, "Oh my! Did you see that statue of the naked man back there?" The second old lady replied, "Yes! I was absolutely shocked! How can they display such a thing! My gosh the penis on it was so large!" Where upon the first old lady accidentally blurted out, "...Yeah, and cold, too!"
Vote: has 81.79 % from 114 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!
Vote: has 81.74 % from 1509 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
Vote: has 81.73 % from 301 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, redneck, sex, sport