Did you hear about the theft at the Viagra factory? The police are looking for some hardened criminals!
Mrs Laura a kindergarten teacher asked her class "what things we can eat?" "Bread" "Yes" "Hamburger" "Ok" A five years girl answered "Light", "Omg" shouted the teacher, "how can light be eaten?" "Last night I heared mom whispering to dad 'turn the light off and put it in my mouth'".
A woman asked her lover, "Would you keep f*ck me that much even after marriage? He replied, "Sure dear, if your husband had no objection."
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles.
Q: What do a penis and a Rubik's Cubes have in common? A: The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Friend pisses me off so I poked holes in his condom the night before he uses it. Three months later... my mom's pregnant.
My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
I went to a pharmacy and asked for a black condom. Manager wondered and asked me, "why black sir?" "My friend's husband died; I want to console her," I said.
A woman wants everything from one man. A man wants one thing from all the women.
My girlfriend came out of the shower and said, "I shaved my pussy you know what that means?" I said, "Yeah the fucking drain is clogged again."