The best dirty jokes

Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? A: Dress her up as an alter boy.
Vote: has 65.88 % from 55 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet? A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, internet, sex
I knew I was gonna get along with my mother's boyfriend just fine. Cause when we met, I said to him "Hi Mr. Bob, How are you doing?" He said: "Oh you don't have to Mr. Bob me, just call me motherfucker".
Vote: has 65.74 % from 105 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex? A: Two of his fingers are clean.
Vote: has 65.70 % from 258 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, mechanic, sex
A bloke walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads, "Cheese sandwich: 0.99; Chicken sandwich: 1.50; H*ndjob: 20.00." Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, the man walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three hot waitresses. "Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "Can I help you?" "I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the h*ndjobs?" "Yes," she purrs. "Indeed I am." The man replies, "Well, go and wash your hands. I want a cheese sandwich!"
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I've got two night stands. Either side of my bed.
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, single
A guy went to an electric shop and said: "By a lot of excuse, do you mind me to buy a lamp please?" A manager said: "It isn't necessarily so much apologizes for buying a lamp." The guy said: "Sorry I wanted for installing it in WC."
Vote: has 65.53 % from 78 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: customer service, dirty, management
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground." So the crocodile bit his legs off.
Vote: has 65.52 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
Andy and Annie are watching one of those television preachers on TV one night. The preacher faces the camera, and announces, “My friends, I’d like to share my healing powers with everyone watching this program. Place one hand on top of your TV & the other hand on the part of your body which ails you and I will heal you.” Annie has been having terrible stomach problems, so she places one hand on the television, and her other hand on her stomach. Meanwhile, Andy approaches the television, placing one hand on top of the TV and his other hand on his groin. With a frown Annie says, “Andy, he’s talking about healing the sick, not raising the dead.”
Vote: has 65.52 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, dirty
Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.” “Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?” “Back to back.” “But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back.” “Yes we can. I’ve persuaded another couple to help out.”
Vote: has 65.52 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, love, sex, wife


<<<51525354
More jokes →
Page 51 of 88.