The best dirty jokes

Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, sex, time
I knew I was gonna get along with my mother's boyfriend just fine. Cause when we met, I said to him "Hi Mr. Bob, How are you doing?" He said: "Oh you don't have to Mr. Bob me, just call me motherfucker".
Vote: has 65.74 % from 105 votes. Send joke:
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Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
Vote: has 65.63 % from 58 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, blonde, dirty, sex
A bloke walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads, "Cheese sandwich: 0.99; Chicken sandwich: 1.50; H*ndjob: 20.00." Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, the man walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three hot waitresses. "Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "Can I help you?" "I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the h*ndjobs?" "Yes," she purrs. "Indeed I am." The man replies, "Well, go and wash your hands. I want a cheese sandwich!"
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
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Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I've got two night stands. Either side of my bed.
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, single
Two friends talk: "Hi, what are you doing?" "Not much, writing a Valentine's Day greeting card." "Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed?" "No, I just can't let my right hand to see it. It's a surprise for it."
Vote: has 65.56 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, friendship, Valentines day
Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex? A: Two of his fingers are clean.
Vote: has 65.55 % from 260 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, mechanic, sex
What is difference between woman and condom? None :-) Both of them spend more time in your wallet...than on your d*ck !
Vote: has 65.55 % from 68 votes. Send joke:
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A guy went to an electric shop and said: "By a lot of excuse, do you mind me to buy a lamp please?" A manager said: "It isn't necessarily so much apologizes for buying a lamp." The guy said: "Sorry I wanted for installing it in WC."
Vote: has 65.53 % from 78 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: customer service, dirty, management
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground." So the crocodile bit his legs off.
Vote: has 65.52 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
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