Q: What's the difference between 3 d*cks and a joke? A: Your mom can't take a joke.
What kind of bees make milk? Boo-Bees!
Q: What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue? A: Well hung.
A lady puts an ad in the paper that reads: "Recently single and looking for a man that will not run away, not hit me and treat me right in the bedroom." One day her door bell rings and there is a man with no arms and no legs at the door. He says: "I am here to answer your ad in the paper. I have no arms so I will not hit you and no legs so I cannot run away." She says: "What about the good in bed part?" He says: "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"
How do you make a snooker table laugh. Put your hands in its pocket and tickle its balls.
One day Kermit the Frog was looking sad. Fozzie Bear went up to him and asked what was wrong. Kermit said, "I'm having problems with Miss Piggy." "Like what?" asked Fozzie. "Well, Piggy wants me to eat her out and I can't." Fozzie asked, "So, what's wrong with that? You're not a prude or anything." "No," sighed Kermit, "but I am a Jew."
What's 72? 69 with 3 people watching!
What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common? You can't f**k with either one.
Whats the similarity between getting a bl*wjob from an 80 year old and walking the tightrope ? In both cases you really dont want to look down !
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.