The best dirty jokes

I'd have a comeback for that, but all my come's backed up in your throat.
Vote: has 60.69 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What do you call nuts on a wall? A: Wallnuts Q: What do you call nuts on your chest? A: Chest nuts Q: What do you call nuts on your chin? A: A penis in your mouth
Vote: has 60.65 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

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He came into my room late at night. He sat over my body, He sucked, swallowed and he left. It was terrible. It was a BLOODY MOSQUITO!
Vote: has 60.65 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why do walruses love a tupperware party? A: They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across? A: A double dirty crosser.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, men, travel
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell. He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
Vote: has 60.17 % from 120 votes. Send joke:

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My kid and I were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. So I put my hand around my kid and told him "Well son, that's because daddy isn't aroused by men."
Vote: has 59.95 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman? A: Too close to the gas chamber.
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, dirty, jewish, men, women
Q: Ever had sex while camping? A: It's fucking intents.
Vote: has 59.85 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton? A: You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.
Vote: has 59.83 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

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