The best dirty jokes

Dad says to his son, "Don't mast*rbate to much because you will go blind." Son say, "I'm over here?"
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has 65.56 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dirty
The Unfortunate Penis: - You've got a hole in your head. - You always hang around with two nuts. - Your closest neighbor is an a**hole. - Your best friend is a pussy. - Every time you get excited, you throw up.
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has 65.56 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A well known TV Evangelists is booking into a posh hotel. He tells the duty manager, "I hope the porn channel is set to disabled" The manager looks at him and replies, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard!"
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has 65.56 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dirty, holiday, management, religious
Q: If Nuts on your chest are Chestnuts and Nuts on a wall are Walnuts. What are Nuts on your chin called? A: A Cock in the mouth!
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has 65.56 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, food
Q: What's long and hard and full of semen? A: A submarine.
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has 65.55 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time
A bloke walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads, "Cheese sandwich: 0.99; Chicken sandwich: 1.50; H*ndjob: 20.00." Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, the man walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three hot waitresses. "Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "Can I help you?" "I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the h*ndjobs?" "Yes," she purrs. "Indeed I am." The man replies, "Well, go and wash your hands. I want a cheese sandwich!"
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What do you say to a man with five penises? A: Your jeans fit like a glove.
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has 65.30 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: dirty
I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina. So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.
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has 65.29 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty, technology
A man is driving his eighteen wheeler down the road, when he sees a hitch hiker. So the trucker stops and picks up the man. While they are driving down the road, the trucker says "Hey man, you wanna see something pretty cool?" The hitch hiker says sure. So the trucker has this monkey in the back, and he makes it come up with the men, and he smacks the monkey up side his head, and the monkey gives him a blow job. So after that, the trucker says "Hey man, do you want some of that?" And the hitch hiker says "Sure, but just don't smack me so hard."
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has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra? A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.
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has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, viagra
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