The best dirty jokes

There was a little boy sitting on a curb in one hand he had a cat and the other a box of smarties. Every so often he would pop a smartie bite the cat get up and move down to the curb. There is a man watching this young boy and wonders what he's doing once again the kid pops a smartie bites the cat gets up and moves down on the curb. So the man comes outside and yells to the boy but the boy ignores him and continues popping a smartie biting the cat and moving down the curb. Finally the man screams hey kid "what are you doing?" The boy looks back and says "who? me?" The man says "yes." The little boy responds "Well sir I'm playing trucker." The man confused says "What do you mean playing trucker." The little boy then says "Yes, playing trucker I'm popping pills, eating pussy and moving down the road."
Vote:
has 65.56 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, game, kids
Q: What's long and hard and full of semen? A: A submarine.
Vote:
has 65.55 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time
I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina. So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.
Vote:
has 65.29 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty, technology
Getting married is like buying a dishwasher. You'll never have to do it by hand again.
Vote:
has 65.25 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, masturbation, technology, work
A man is driving his eighteen wheeler down the road, when he sees a hitch hiker. So the trucker stops and picks up the man. While they are driving down the road, the trucker says "Hey man, you wanna see something pretty cool?" The hitch hiker says sure. So the trucker has this monkey in the back, and he makes it come up with the men, and he smacks the monkey up side his head, and the monkey gives him a blow job. So after that, the trucker says "Hey man, do you want some of that?" And the hitch hiker says "Sure, but just don't smack me so hard."
Vote:
has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra? A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.
Vote:
has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, viagra
Girl: Babe I just gotta a tattoo of a sea shell on my thigh can you hear the ocean? *Pulls his head to her thigh* Guy: Nope, But I sure can smell the fish.
Vote:
has 65.13 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish
Man comes home to his wife and says to her: "With the new pair of glasses, you look like sh.t." "But I don't have a new pair of glasses..." she replies. "But, I do."
Vote:
has 65.08 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: dirty
One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him. "What you staring at, old man? Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?" "Yeah. I screwed a parrot once. I was wondering if you were my son?"
Vote:
has 65.00 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: dirty, parrot, sex
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell. He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
Vote:
has 64.94 % from 206 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, fart
<<<52535455
More jokes →
Page 52 of 96.