The best dirty jokes

I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina. So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.
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has 64.90 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: dirty, technology
What’s the difference between a barmaid in the evening and a barmaid at night? A barmaid in the evening is fair and buxom. A barmaid at night is bare and...
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has 64.89 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What do you call 2 nuns and a Prostitute on a football field? A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
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has 64.89 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football, sport
Girl: Babe I just gotta a tattoo of a sea shell on my thigh can you hear the ocean? *Pulls his head to her thigh* Guy: Nope, But I sure can smell the fish.
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has 64.88 % from 134 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish
Getting married is like buying a dishwasher. You'll never have to do it by hand again.
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has 64.81 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, masturbation, technology, work
Q: Why the men's voice is louder than women? A: men have an antenna!
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, men, women
Q: What did the nut say to the bolt? A: Screw me.
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty
John comes home and notices his wife naked in bed and the postman standing with his unzipped trousers next to the bed. The postman wants to save the situation so he says quickly: "Mrs. Ann, I warn you for the last time! If you do not sign this letter so I will pee on your brand-new carpet."
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has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, wife
Friend: Dude, I can't stop dreaming about my crush. Me: Well imagine this... You're home alone, and your crush comes over to visit. Friend: Ok I can see it... Me: She walks into your room and you're just sitting there. Friend: Uh-huh.. I'm likin' this. Me: Ok. So she walks in front of you, takes her pants off. She's not wearing any underwear.. And then she sits on you. Friend: Oh-ho-hoo.. Whatta' naughty girl. Me: Yeah, ok. Don't get dirty on me. So she's sitting on you. And then... she starting shitting in you. Right then and there, you find out you're a toilet. Friend: I hate you...
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has 64.67 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: dirty
One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him. "What you staring at, old man? Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?" "Yeah. I screwed a parrot once. I was wondering if you were my son?"
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has 64.59 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty, parrot, sex
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