The best dirty jokes

Two guys are in a bar. "Hey, I've got an idea -- let's play 'Twenty Questions!'" "'Twenty Questions?' How do you play?" "You ask me questions and try to guess what I'm thinking of." "Okay. But you have to write down what you're thinking of so I know you're not cheating." The man agrees, and writes down 'moosecock' on a small piece of paper. "Okay, I got a question. Does it taste good?" "Uhh...I guess so." "Is it moosecock?"
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has 63.35 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty
Dad says to his son, "Don't mast*rbate to much because you will go blind." Son say, "I'm over here?"
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has 63.32 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What has a hundred balls and f*cks old women? Bingo!
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Getting married is like buying a dishwasher. You'll never have to do it by hand again.
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has 63.26 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, masturbation, technology, work
A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."
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has 62.97 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, wife
A man says to his wife, "I fancy kinky sex, how about I blow my load in your ear?" The wife hastily replies, "No, I might go deaf!" To which the man replies, "I've been shooting my love wads in your mouth for the last 20 years and you're still fucking talking aren't you?"
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has 62.96 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, sex, wife
One of the two adult female friends got married and went on honeymoon to Hawaii. On return curious other girl asked her friend, “What sightseeing places did you go in Hawaii and what did you see?” The honeymoon girl explained, “For seven days, I saw only the fan on the ceiling of the room and occasionally when turned around, I saw the bed sheet too.”
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has 62.91 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty, holiday, travel
One day a women walks into work in a short skirt. As she’s walking to her desk she gets stopped by a co-worker, who says, “Your hair smells really nice today.” She grimaces and stomps into her manager’s office. She says,”I want to file a sexual harassment complaint!” and then relates what happened. The manager says, “What’s wrong with him complimenting how your hair smells?” Furious, she snarls, “He’s a midget!”
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has 62.81 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, women, work
What starts with a 'C', ends with a 'T', and is hairy on the outside and moist on the inside? Coconut.... What were you thinking?
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has 62.80 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Boy - "dear Santa, for xmas, I would like a baby brother." Santa - "Send me your mother."
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has 62.79 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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