The best dirty jokes

Q: What do you call 2 nuns and a Prostitute on a football field? A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
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has 63.93 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football, sport
Q: What did the nut say to the bolt? A: Screw me.
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus? It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: computer, dirty, geek, IT, viagra
The Unfortunate Penis: - You've got a hole in your head. - You always hang around with two nuts. - Your closest neighbor is an a**hole. - Your best friend is a pussy. - Every time you get excited, you throw up.
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has 63.81 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A young fellow went to a Jewish Doctor and told the doctor he was worried because he could not get an erection. Whereupon the doctor told him to eat Jewish Rye Bread. So on his way home, the young man stopped a Jewish Bakery and asked for 25 Loaves of Rye Bread. The Baker said "25 Loaves? It will get hard before you get rid of it." Whereupon the patient in excitement said "Give me 50 loaves."
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has 63.79 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, doctor, food, jewish
A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first. She says, "Well I carried this child around in my stomach for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process, this is my child and apart of me." The jury is impressed and then turns to ask the man the same question. The man replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out, now tell me who does the drink belong to me or the machine"
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has 63.68 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Dad says to his son, "Don't mast*rbate to much because you will go blind." Son say, "I'm over here?"
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has 63.61 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty
There was a little boy sitting on a curb in one hand he had a cat and the other a box of smarties. Every so often he would pop a smartie bite the cat get up and move down to the curb. There is a man watching this young boy and wonders what he's doing once again the kid pops a smartie bites the cat gets up and moves down on the curb. So the man comes outside and yells to the boy but the boy ignores him and continues popping a smartie biting the cat and moving down the curb. Finally the man screams hey kid "what are you doing?" The boy looks back and says "who? me?" The man says "yes." The little boy responds "Well sir I'm playing trucker." The man confused says "What do you mean playing trucker." The little boy then says "Yes, playing trucker I'm popping pills, eating pussy and moving down the road."
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has 63.61 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, game, kids
Man comes home to his wife and says to her: "With the new pair of glasses, you look like sh.t." "But I don't have a new pair of glasses..." she replies. "But, I do."
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has 63.57 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A man walks into a sperm Bank. He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle. He decides to start a conversation with him. He approaches the man and says "So then, do you come here often?" The man replies "Only when the internets off" and walks off.
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, geek, internet, men
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