What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians?
One hundred people who don't do dick.
Bully: Your dick is probably like a tic tac.
Geek: No wonder your mom's mouth is so fresh.
Class: Oooooohhhh!
There was three girls and they all had boyfriends and separate rooms.
The mom walked by all the rooms.
The first room she hears laughing, the second room she heard screaming and the third was totally quiet.
The mom was suspicious, so she asked the third girl why was she so quiet she replied, "My boyfriend said not to talk with my mouth full."
A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York.
At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady.
What are both men thinking?
Don't look down.
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
What's the rudest type of Elf?
The GofuckyoursElf.
A young man asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?"
The father, surprised, answers:
"Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts.
In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, see them and they make you cry."
The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an alter boy.
Q: Why do walruses love a tupperware party?
A: They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.