Q: Whats the difference between Niagara and Viagra?
A: Niagara Falls.
There was three girls and they all had boyfriends and separate rooms.
The mom walked by all the rooms.
The first room she hears laughing, the second room she heard screaming and the third was totally quiet.
The mom was suspicious, so she asked the third girl why was she so quiet she replied, "My boyfriend said not to talk with my mouth full."
A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York.
At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady.
What are both men thinking?
Don't look down.
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?
A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
Vote:
What's the rudest type of Elf?
The GofuckyoursElf.
A young boy caught sight of his mother changing one day, and asked her what that was that she had between her legs.
"That is something you're never going to talk about again.
And you shouldn't touch it either, because it has teeth."
Many years went by, and the boy never touched any girl in between her legs, because he was very scared.
One day, however, he met the love of his life and, in time, they got married.
On their wedding night, his wife asked him to touch her there.
"No," he said, "it's got teeth."
"Silly goose!" she said.
She spread her legs wide for him to see.
"See? No teeth!"
"Well, I'm not surprised," the man said.
"Not with gums like that."
The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an alter boy.