The best dirty jokes

Q: What's worse than ants in your pants? A: Uncle.
Vote: has 64.76 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
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The horrible moment when there's a really cute girls on the bus, but you're too shy to start masturbating in front of everyone...
Vote: has 64.73 % from 63 votes. Send joke:
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There was three boys called Zip, Dick and Piss They were in class and their teacher went out to make a phone call Right then Zip jumped on the table Dick jumped in the teachers chair And Piss was punchin everyone in sight 3 minutes later the teacher back in and said Zip down Dick out and Piss in the corner.
Vote: has 64.37 % from 107 votes. Send joke:
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I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina. So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.
Vote: has 64.35 % from 72 votes. Send joke:
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"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
Vote: has 64.35 % from 72 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, husband, marriage, wife
I told my crush at school, "If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow." The next day she came in wearing black! When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong. Moral of the story: she really loves me underneath it all.
Vote: has 64.35 % from 88 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, school
A man and wife were making love. When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away. Mom said "You better fix this now." The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma. The dad screamed "What the fuck." The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."
Vote: has 64.34 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, dirty, family, kids, sex
Q: Why do vegetarians give good head? A: Beause they're used to eating nuts.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
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Q: Why do walruses love a tupperware party? A: They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, love, party
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna go down on you.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex


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