The best dirty jokes

Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever. Me: What's that hunny? Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk. Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
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has 64.45 % from 200 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, dirty
I told my crush at school, "If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow." The next day she came in wearing black! When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong. Moral of the story: she really loves me underneath it all.
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has 64.35 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: dirty, school
My kid and I were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. So I put my hand around my kid and told him "Well son, that's because daddy isn't aroused by men."
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has 64.35 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, dirty
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A bloke walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads, "Cheese sandwich: 0.99; Chicken sandwich: 1.50; H*ndjob: 20.00." Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, the man walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three hot waitresses. "Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "Can I help you?" "I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the h*ndjobs?" "Yes," she purrs. "Indeed I am." The man replies, "Well, go and wash your hands. I want a cheese sandwich!"
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why was the dirty old man fired from the poultry shop? A: He couldn't keep his hands off the breasts and thighs.
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking? Don't look down.
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: age, death, dirty, geography, sex
Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, flirt, money, sex
Q: What did I do in the bed last night. A: Your mom.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, sex
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
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has 64.26 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, marriage, wife
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