The best dirty jokes

Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore? A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, vulgar, work
Q: What do you say to a man with five penises? A: Your jeans fit like a glove.
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has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: dirty
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
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has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, sex
Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
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has 64.59 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
One day a group of engineers got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. They picked one engineer to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The engineer walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost." God listened patiently to the man and after the engineer was done talking, God said, "Very well! How about this? Let's have a man-making contest." The man replied, "Okay, great!" But God added, "Now we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam." The engineers said, "Sure, no problem." He bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt. God just looked at him and said, "No, no, no. Go get your own dirt!"
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has 64.51 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, god, science
Q: What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue? A: Well hung.
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has 64.47 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: dirty, lesbian
Q: Ever had sex while camping? A: It's fucking intents.
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has 64.47 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Two guys are in a bar. "Hey, I've got an idea -- let's play 'Twenty Questions!'" "'Twenty Questions?' How do you play?" "You ask me questions and try to guess what I'm thinking of." "Okay. But you have to write down what you're thinking of so I know you're not cheating." The man agrees, and writes down 'moosecock' on a small piece of paper. "Okay, I got a question. Does it taste good?" "Uhh...I guess so." "Is it moosecock?"
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has 64.40 % from 163 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty
What has a hundred balls and f*cks old women? Bingo!
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A young man walks into a bar and orders a Kamikaze. As soon as he is severed he slams it down. And before the bartender can walk away he calls out I need a shot of Tequila. So the bat tender pours the tequila. And no sooner than he is server he slam it back and then the young man asks for a shot of Gin. The bar tender compiles with the request, and out of curiosity asks the young man are you celebrating? The young man nods, and says quietly mt first blow job. The bartender smiles and says I remember my first. The young man looks up and says so how did you get rid of that taste?
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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