The best disgusting jokes

Q: Why is it a bad idea for two butt cheeks to get married? A: Because they part for every little shit.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, marriage
Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."
Vote: has 62.44 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
I dont understand why people say sex is good in the shower. How do you guys not get your laptop wet?
Vote: has 61.91 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, disgusting, sex
Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Vote: has 61.89 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, disgusting, women
A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast." And the doctor says, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt." Two months later she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was." But the doctor notices that she is bouncing up and down up and down... and he asks, "But where did you get this twitch?" The woman replies, "I don't have a nervous twitch, I'm chewing bubble gum."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, food, women
Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? A: You wake up wet!
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, winter
Q: What's grosser than gross? A: Two vampires fighting over a used tampon.
Vote: has 60.75 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head. "Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper." "What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, animal, couple, disgusting, old people
How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party? When the cake jumps out of the girl!
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food
There was a young man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He dreamt that Venus was strokin' his penis And woke with a handfull of goo
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting