The best disgusting jokes

Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers. The first boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings." The second boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose." The third boy said, "Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt." The first and second boys where amazed. The second boy said, "Have you seen him do it?" "No," said the third boy, "but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."
Vote:
has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: dad, disgusting, fart
A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital. "How's the food there?" asks the hooker. "Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"
Vote:
has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, hospital, sex
Q: What's the difference between erotic and kinky? A: Erotic is when you use a feather; kinky is when you use the whole chicken.
Vote:
has 61.36 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse. He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20. The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left. He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room. To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed. So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life. Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs. He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, life, money
While grocery shopping, a single man comes across toilet brushes. "Wow! What a great idea," he thinks to himself and buys three of them. Two weeks later, however, he goes back to using toilet paper.
Vote:
has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.
Vote:
has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, disgusting, sex
Mommy, mommy, I don't want to visit grandma today! "Shut up and keep digging, boy."
Vote:
has 60.66 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
At the scene of a terrible road accident, a guy is laying sprawled out on the road, seemingly stone dead. The rescue workers are all around him, but can do nothing to resuscitate him. Suddenly, a young woman in a short miniskirt forces her way through the crowd. "Let me at him, I can help him," she says. "What can you do?" ask the rescue people. "We've tried everything to revive him, and it's too late." "I can," says the woman. "Stand back!" And she promptly takes off her panties, and crouches with her crotch over the man's face. Suddenly, the man coughs, splutters, and sits up. "What did you do?" ask the rescue people, amazed. The woman says, "Blood Transfusion."
Vote:
has 60.65 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, women
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath. The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?" "That's my little red sports car," said the little boy. The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?" "That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl. A few seconds later the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?" "Sure," said the little boy. The little boy's mother was down stairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said. "Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
Vote:
has 60.35 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Mom! I'm a 3D printer! Oh come on, Tommy, close the door when you poop.
Vote:
has 60.35 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, kids, technology
<<<19202122
More jokes →
Page 19 of 49.