The best disgusting jokes

Q: What's the difference between apple pie and pussy? A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.

What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby? Threesomes.

A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers. He rushes to the emergency room. The doctor says, "Give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do." "But I don't have the fingers!" "Why didn't you bring the fingers?!" asks the incredulous doctor. "Doc, I couldn't pick them up."

Q: What is the difference between a gay guy and a fridge? A: The fridge doesn't fart when you take out the meat.

A woman walks into a restaurant and sits down. As she bends down to reach into her purse for her wallet, she farts loudly with the waiter right behind her. She sits abruptly back up, glares at the waiter and shouts “Stop that!” To which the waiter replies, “Sure, which way did it go?”

A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money." The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?" The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him. He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her. Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears. He freaked, "omg she's sick." He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"

Do you know what would be sick? If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner. Do you know what would be even worse? If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.

So that there be less strife May your dreams be sweet And your ass does not tweet tonight.

I've accepted every email offer I've ever received. My penis is now 235 feet long.

Q: Why do men snore when they lie on their backs? A: Because when their balls fall over their a**holes, they vapor-lock.