Do you know what would be sick? If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner. Do you know what would be even worse? If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.
Q: Why is it a bad idea for two butt cheeks to get married? A: Because they part for every little shit.
Q: Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him? A: He came home shit faced.
Five liters of bean soup for dinner – let´s spend the night with the gas mask!
Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? A: You wake up wet!
Take a squirt gun into the rest room stall next to someone and shoot little drops over the wall every couple of seconds while pretending to pee.
Knock knock. Who's there? Urine. Urine who? Urine trouble if you don't open the door.
An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
Q: What's the difference between apple pie and pussy? A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.
Two sperms. The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?" The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."