That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.
Two sperms. The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?" The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full.
What's gross? Farting in the bathtub. What's grosser than that? Catching the bubbles with your teeth.
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."
Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."
What went through the fly's mind as he hit the windshield? His Butt!
Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what." Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready." Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave." Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know." Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you." Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does." Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry." Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my panties are just red." Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going." Her: "I'm really on my period." Him: "Damn! He got shot again..."
Knock knock. Who's there? Urine. Urine who? Urine trouble if you don't open the door.