Q: What's the difference between apple pie and pussy? A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.
Q: What's grosser than gross? A: Two vampires fighting over a used tampon.
Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full.
What's gross? Farting in the bathtub. What's grosser than that? Catching the bubbles with your teeth.
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."
Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."
That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
What went through the fly's mind as he hit the windshield? His Butt!
Knock knock. Who's there? Urine. Urine who? Urine trouble if you don't open the door.