The best disgusting jokes

Five liters of bean soup for dinner – let´s spend the night with the gas mask!
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food
Knock knock. Who's there? Urine. Urine who? Urine trouble if you don't open the door.
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, knock-knock
Q: What's the difference between apple pie and pussy? A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.
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has 59.46 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers. He rushes to the emergency room. The doctor says, "Give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do." "But I don't have the fingers!" "Why didn't you bring the fingers?!" asks the incredulous doctor. "Doc, I couldn't pick them up."
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, work
I've accepted every email offer I've ever received. My penis is now 235 feet long.
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has 59.06 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sex
To the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland": Dog tags ring, are you listening'? In the lane, snow is glistening. It's yellow, not white I've been there tonight, Marking up my winter wonderland. Smell that tree? That's my fragrance. It's a sign for wandering vagrants; "Avoid where I pee, it's my property. Marked up as my winter wonderland." In the meadow dad will build a snowman, following the classical design. Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man, So all the world will know it's mine-mine-mine! Straight from me to the fence post, flows my natural incense boast, "Stay off of my turf, this small piece of earth, I mark it as my winter wonderland."
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has 58.86 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, dog, poems, winter
A woman walks into a restaurant and sits down. As she bends down to reach into her purse for her wallet, she farts loudly with the waiter right behind her. She sits abruptly back up, glares at the waiter and shouts “Stop that!” To which the waiter replies, “Sure, which way did it go?”
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, health
Do you know what would be sick? If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner. Do you know what would be even worse? If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
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