The best disgusting jokes

Imagine, there are on the bus only 5 persons: A busman, an old woman, two younger women and one man. The old woman comes to the busman and tells him: "Dear busman, would you like to eat a few hazelnuts?" The busman says: "Yes, why not?" He takes the hazelnuts from her hand and eats them. This repeats even two times, but when the old woman offers other hazelnuts to the busman for the fourth time, the busman asks this old woman: "Madame, where do you take all these hazelnuts from? It is a real amount and I am already full." The old woman only says: "You know, dear busman, I have bought the chocolate with hazelnuts, the hazelnuts are very hard for my dental plate, so I have sucked them all out, brought it to you and you have already eaten them all."
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, chocolate, dentist, disgusting, food
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
Vote: has 57.92 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, disgusting, morbid, music
A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money." The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?" The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him. He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her. Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears. He freaked, "omg she's sick." He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"
Vote: has 57.73 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, customer service, dirty, disgusting, money
I've accepted every email offer I've ever received. My penis is now 235 feet long.
Vote: has 57.66 % from 81 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, sex
Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting
An old woman goes to the doctor's office. The doctor gives her a checkup and says, "I need to do stool, blood and urine tests." The woman says, "Well can I just leave my underwear? Bingo starts in half an hour."
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, old people
If I wanted some comeback, I'd wipe it off your chin!
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting
Two cannibals just got their hands on a corpse. One says to the other, "I'll start at the head, you start at the feet." They start to eat, and after awhile the one at the head yells to the other one, "Hey, how's it going?" The other replies, "I'm having a ball!" Getting mad, the one at the head yells, "Dammit, slow down, you're eating too fast!"
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, food
Q: What can popsicles do that men can't? A: Come in five flavors.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting
Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers. The first boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings." The second boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose." The third boy said, "Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt." The first and second boys where amazed. The second boy said, "Have you seen him do it?" "No," said the third boy, "but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, disgusting, fart


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