Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart?
A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
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Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?
A: You wake up wet!
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Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.
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Q: What's the difference between a brown-noser and a sh*thead?
A: Depth perception.
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How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
When the cake jumps out of the girl!
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What do you call an incestuous nephew?
An aunt-eater.
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An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch together, so they were driving the fence line to check everything out when they came upon a goat with his head stuck in a fence.
So the Longhorn gets out of the truck, looks around, and then starts screwing the goat.
He gets finished, takes a step back, ands asks the Aggie, "Hey, you want a piece of this?"
The Aggie says, ´"Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?"
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If you think you have shitty job, what if you were toilet paper!
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Yo Mama so hairy, when she shaved her legs, your dad thought she got a new carpet.
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What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby?
Threesomes.
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