The best disgusting jokes

What's gross? Farting in the bathtub. What's grosser than that? Catching the bubbles with your teeth.
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More jokes about: disgusting, fart
An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch together, so they were driving the fence line to check everything out when they came upon a goat with his head stuck in a fence. So the Longhorn gets out of the truck, looks around, and then starts screwing the goat. He gets finished, takes a step back, ands asks the Aggie, "Hey, you want a piece of this?" The Aggie says, ´"Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?"
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More jokes about: disgusting
What do you call a trash bag full of mutilated laboratory monkeys? Rhesus Pieces.
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More jokes about: animal, disgusting
How can you tell if a porno was made in the 70's? The guys' schlongs have sideburns!
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More jokes about: disgusting, time
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
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More jokes about: disgusting, food, health
How is parsley like pubic hair? You push it aside to eat, and sometimes it gets stuck between your teeth after meals.
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More jokes about: disgusting
A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked by one and asked, "How'd you get such lovely blonde hair" Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, "It's natural." The guy walked by the second girl and asked, "How'd you get such pretty brown hair?" Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, "It's natural." Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, "How'd you get such cool green hair?" Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said, "It's natural."
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More jokes about: disgusting
Q: How do you recycle a condom? A: Turn it inside out and shake the f**k out of it.
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More jokes about: disgusting
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. "Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver." "I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart." "I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
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More jokes about: disgusting, football
A guy walks into a store. He goes up to the clerk and holds up his hand. In his hand he's holding a big pile of crap. He looks at the clerk with the biggest expression of relief and says, "Whew, that was close. Look what I almost stepped in."
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More jokes about: disgusting