Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? A: You wake up wet!
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Q: What's the difference between a brown-noser and a sh*thead? A: Depth perception.
How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party? When the cake jumps out of the girl!
What do you call an incestuous nephew? An aunt-eater.
An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch together, so they were driving the fence line to check everything out when they came upon a goat with his head stuck in a fence. So the Longhorn gets out of the truck, looks around, and then starts screwing the goat. He gets finished, takes a step back, ands asks the Aggie, "Hey, you want a piece of this?" The Aggie says, ´"Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?"
If you think you have shitty job, what if you were toilet paper!
Yo Mama so hairy, when she shaved her legs, your dad thought she got a new carpet.
What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby? Threesomes.