Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?
A: You wake up wet!
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A young, innocent couple goes on their honeymoon.
They get naked and jump into bed, but neither knows what to do.
Eventually, they decide to rub their noses together.
After awhile, they decide to rub their toes together.
Finally, they begin to rub their hips together.
Suddenly, the man jumps up and runs to the bathroom.
After several minutes, he returns to the bedroom, looking scared.
"What happened?" asks his bride.
"I don't know," he replies, "but something curdled my urine!"
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Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart?
A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
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Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.
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How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
When the cake jumps out of the girl!
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Q: What's the difference between a brown-noser and a sh*thead?
A: Depth perception.
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An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch together, so they were driving the fence line to check everything out when they came upon a goat with his head stuck in a fence.
So the Longhorn gets out of the truck, looks around, and then starts screwing the goat.
He gets finished, takes a step back, ands asks the Aggie, "Hey, you want a piece of this?"
The Aggie says, ´"Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?"
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If you think you have shitty job, what if you were toilet paper!
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Yo Mama so hairy, when she shaved her legs, your dad thought she got a new carpet.
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Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game?
A: There was a face-off in the corner.
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