The best disgusting jokes

What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full.
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has 56.76 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics? A: Having two legs.
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has 56.66 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sport
That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, family, food
What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan? Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Yo Mama so hairy, when she shaved her legs, your dad thought she got a new carpet.
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has 55.91 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, ugly, Yo mama
Why can't girls play hockey? Because their pads can't last three periods.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sport
At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets. A waiter explains, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement." Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters' flies. "The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explains the waiter. "That way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims straight, and we don't need to use our hands." The customer asks, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?" The waiter replies, "Well, that's another reason we carry the spoons."
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what." Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready." Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave." Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know." Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you." Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does." Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry." Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my panties are just red." Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going." Her: "I'm really on my period." Him: "Damn! He got shot again..."
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, love, relationship
A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money." The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?" The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him. He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her. Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears. He freaked, "omg she's sick." He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"
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has 55.58 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: black humor, customer service, dirty, disgusting, money
One day a guy and a girl were making out in her parents' bedroom, and it was getting pretty steamy. All of a sudden, the guy takes out his shlong and places it in her hand. She screams and runs downstairs, through the kitchen, through the living room, the bathroom, the dining room, back upstairs, through her bedroom, her bathroom, her sister's bedroom, down the hall and back into her parents' bedroom. "Listen, pal! I have two words for you -- DROP DEAD!" "I have two words for you -- LET GO!"
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sex
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