What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina? Putting in twelve and sucking out thirteen.
Hey, did you hear about the cannibal who arrived late to the dinner party? They gave him the cold shoulder!
Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? A: Kids don't eat broccoli.
Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends? A: He plays with Pooh.
What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body? My dick.
One roomate said to another, “Man, this morning I woke up with white crud around my mouth!” The other roomate said, “Oh, that's my fault, I guess I missed!”
Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't? A: A belly button between her boobs.
Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets? A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends how hard you throw them.