The best disgusting jokes

Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone? Answer: No! Response: Wanna go to a party?

What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan? Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.

An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch together, so they were driving the fence line to check everything out when they came upon a goat with his head stuck in a fence. So the Longhorn gets out of the truck, looks around, and then starts screwing the goat. He gets finished, takes a step back, ands asks the Aggie, "Hey, you want a piece of this?" The Aggie says, ´"Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?"

How is parsley like pubic hair? You push it aside to eat, and sometimes it gets stuck between your teeth after meals.

Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends? A: He plays with Pooh.

Yo mama so damn short, she uses salt shaker as a toilet.

What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"

Q: Whats the height of desperation? A: A vampire sucking blood from a sanitary napkin.

Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.