The best disgusting jokes

Q: What can popsicles do that men can't? A: Come in five flavors.
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
One day a guy and a girl were making out in her parents' bedroom, and it was getting pretty steamy. All of a sudden, the guy takes out his shlong and places it in her hand. She screams and runs downstairs, through the kitchen, through the living room, the bathroom, the dining room, back upstairs, through her bedroom, her bathroom, her sister's bedroom, down the hall and back into her parents' bedroom. "Listen, pal! I have two words for you -- DROP DEAD!" "I have two words for you -- LET GO!"
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has 57.35 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sex
There were two church-going women gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up. He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse full on its rectum. Repulsed, one of the women asked, "That's disgusting, why did you do THAT?" To which the cowboy replied, "I've got chapped lips." Confused, the women continued, "Does that make them feel better?" "No, but it stops me from licking them!"
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: church, cowboy, disgusting, horse, women
Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone? Answer: No! Response: Wanna go to a party?
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, party, sex
What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan? Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
If I wanted some comeback, I'd wipe it off your chin!
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
How is parsley like pubic hair? You push it aside to eat, and sometimes it gets stuck between your teeth after meals.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends? A: He plays with Pooh.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
There was an old married couple who love each other very much. But each morning as he was waking up the husband let out a huge nasty wet fart with his wife right in the bed next to him. The wife always says "One day you're going to fart your guts out if you don't stop." Then one day the wife snapped she won't take it anymore and she got up extra early when downstairs and got the guts out of a turkey and put it in the bed behind. She went back downstairs to wait and then she heard the loud disgusting fart all the way down the stairs and then she hears nothing for a long while. Just as she's about to go upstairs and check on her husband he comes stomping down the steps and he says "Honey you were right after I get my guts out but with the grace of God and these two fingers I managed to shove them back up there again."
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, fart, life, marriage
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