The best disgusting jokes

Five liters of bean soup for dinner – let´s spend the night with the gas mask!
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food
Q: What's grosser than gross? A: Two vampires fighting over a used tampon.
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?" "No" her mother replied. "Well, I think I have to throw up!" "Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush." In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked. "Yes" the little girl replied. "Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?" "I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says 'for the sick'."
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: catholic, church, disgusting, kids
Q: What's the difference between erotic and kinky? A: Erotic is when you use a feather; kinky is when you use the whole chicken.
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has 60.73 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A young man and a young woman were soon to be married, but they both had a problem they had never told anyone else about. The man approached his father one day before the wedding and told him about his problem. His feet REALLY stunk, even if he washed them constantly, he was worried that this would scare off his new bride, so he needed a solution, fast. His father pondered the situation and finally told his son to wear socks constantly (even to bed) and always wash his feet whenever he got a chance. The son thought about this and went along happy. The same day the young lady approached her mother and told her about her problem. Her morning breath was horrid. Her mother reassured her and told her everyone had bad morning breath. The young woman told her mother that this was not normal morning breath but easily the worst in the world. The mother thinks about this and comes up with this bright idea. She tells her daughter to get up earlier than everyone else and don't say a thing, go make breakfast and then brush her teeth while the others are eating. The young woman thinks and then runs off to get ready for the wedding, happy. The couple is married and they are happy, him with his perpetual socks and her with her morning silences. One morning about 5:30 am the young man wakes up to find one sock missing. He starts rustling around in the bed looking for it, which of course wakes up his wife, who without thinking asks what's wrong. With a look of shock on his face the young man says, "OH MY GOD! You've swallowed my sock!"
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, marriage, wedding, wife
A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present. When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video. He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video. On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friend's d**k. He comes in her mouth, and she immediately spits the jizz into a bowl of cookie dough. Then she turns to the camera. "Oh, hello, I want a divorce."
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has 60.67 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, divorce, food, husband, women
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, chocolate, disgusting, easter, food
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends how hard you throw them.
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has 60.50 % from 190 votes. More jokes about: dead baby, disgusting
If I wanted some comeback, I'd wipe it off your chin!
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: How do you piss off a man? A: Stand on his back and piss.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, mean, men
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