Q: What's a good holiday tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Vote:
Q: Whats the height of desperation?
A: A vampire sucking blood from a sanitary napkin.
Vote:
What's green and eats nuts?
Syphilis.
Vote:
An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch together, so they were driving the fence line to check everything out when they came upon a goat with his head stuck in a fence.
So the Longhorn gets out of the truck, looks around, and then starts screwing the goat.
He gets finished, takes a step back, ands asks the Aggie, "Hey, you want a piece of this?"
The Aggie says, ´"Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?"
Vote:
Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?
A: You wake up wet!
Vote:
What do you call an incestuous nephew?
An aunt-eater.
Vote:
A young, innocent couple goes on their honeymoon.
They get naked and jump into bed, but neither knows what to do.
Eventually, they decide to rub their noses together.
After awhile, they decide to rub their toes together.
Finally, they begin to rub their hips together.
Suddenly, the man jumps up and runs to the bathroom.
After several minutes, he returns to the bedroom, looking scared.
"What happened?" asks his bride.
"I don't know," he replies, "but something curdled my urine!"
Vote:
Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.
Vote:
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity?
A: The crayons are still sticky.
Vote:
That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
Vote: