The best disgusting jokes

What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See ya next month.
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has 60.14 % from 234 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, lesbian, time
The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants; I asked her "Is it thick?" She said "yes dear." Again I asked: "Is it warm?" She replied: "yes honey." Then I asked: "Is it soft?" She said, "yes of course." "It is my shit!" I told her.
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has 60.11 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex
What went through the fly's mind as he hit the windshield? His Butt!
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Did you hear about the leper poker game? A: One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, game
Q: What's grosser than gross? A: Two vampires fighting over a used tampon.
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
I've accepted every email offer I've ever received. My penis is now 235 feet long.
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has 59.28 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sex
Q: What do you get when you put Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Doughboy together? A: A redhead with a yeast infection.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, ginger
Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm. His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day he goes to see his chum, and finds him playing tennis. "Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing." Another month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill working when the same guy gets too close to the spinning blade and this time his leg gets cut off. Again his buddy takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day, he goes down to see his chum and finds him outside playing football. "Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing!" Well another month goes by and again the same two friends are at the mill cutting wood when suddenly the same guy bends down too close to the blade and off comes his head. Well his friend takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag, and heads to the hospital to get it re-attached. The next day he goes to see his friend but can't find him. He sees the doctor walking down the hall and says, "Doc, where is my friend? I brought him in yesterday." The doctor thinks for a minute and says, "Oh yeah, some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."
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has 59.09 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, football, hospital, sport, work
Two sperms. The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?" The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
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has 58.98 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, sex, time
A woman walks into a restaurant and sits down. As she bends down to reach into her purse for her wallet, she farts loudly with the waiter right behind her. She sits abruptly back up, glares at the waiter and shouts “Stop that!” To which the waiter replies, “Sure, which way did it go?”
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
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