The best disgusting jokes

One day a guy and a girl were making out in her parents' bedroom, and it was getting pretty steamy. All of a sudden, the guy takes out his shlong and places it in her hand. She screams and runs downstairs, through the kitchen, through the living room, the bathroom, the dining room, back upstairs, through her bedroom, her bathroom, her sister's bedroom, down the hall and back into her parents' bedroom. "Listen, pal! I have two words for you -- DROP DEAD!" "I have two words for you -- LET GO!"
Vote:
has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sex
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina? Putting in twelve and sucking out thirteen.
Vote:
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
If I wanted some comeback, I'd wipe it off your chin!
Vote:
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
Vote:
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants; I asked her "Is it thick?" She said "yes dear." Again I asked: "Is it warm?" She replied: "yes honey." Then I asked: "Is it soft?" She said, "yes of course." "It is my shit!" I told her.
Vote:
has 55.22 % from 164 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex
Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Vote:
has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, women
What has 4 legs and one arm? A Doberman in a children’s playground!
Vote:
has 55.11 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
There were two church-going women gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up. He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse full on its rectum. Repulsed, one of the women asked, "That's disgusting, why did you do THAT?" To which the cowboy replied, "I've got chapped lips." Confused, the women continued, "Does that make them feel better?" "No, but it stops me from licking them!"
Vote:
has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: church, cowboy, disgusting, horse, women
One day there was a big lady swimming at the beach when she noticed that she had lost her top. She thought that no one would notice if she covered herself with her arms and walked overto her towel. Then a little girl came running up to her. "If you're going to drown those puppies, at least let me have the one with the cute little pink nose."
Vote:
has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Three men walk into a bar. The barman tells them, "If you can sit in my basement for a day, I'll give you free beer forever." The first man walks out after five minutes and says, "It's impossible, you got a swarm of flies in there." So the second man tries his luck, but can't take more than an hour. Finally, the third man goes down. When he returns a day later, the others ask him how he did it. He says, "Easy! I took a dump in one corner and sat in the other corner!"
Vote:
has 54.95 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, beer, disgusting
<<<25262728
More jokes →
Page 25 of 49.