The best disgusting jokes

If I wanted some comeback, I'd wipe it off your chin!
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
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has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, women
There were two church-going women gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up. He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse full on its rectum. Repulsed, one of the women asked, "That's disgusting, why did you do THAT?" To which the cowboy replied, "I've got chapped lips." Confused, the women continued, "Does that make them feel better?" "No, but it stops me from licking them!"
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: church, cowboy, disgusting, horse, women
One day there was a big lady swimming at the beach when she noticed that she had lost her top. She thought that no one would notice if she covered herself with her arms and walked overto her towel. Then a little girl came running up to her. "If you're going to drown those puppies, at least let me have the one with the cute little pink nose."
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What's a good holiday tip? A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: bird, disgusting, holiday, winter
Three men walk into a bar. The barman tells them, "If you can sit in my basement for a day, I'll give you free beer forever." The first man walks out after five minutes and says, "It's impossible, you got a swarm of flies in there." So the second man tries his luck, but can't take more than an hour. Finally, the third man goes down. When he returns a day later, the others ask him how he did it. He says, "Easy! I took a dump in one corner and sat in the other corner!"
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has 55.07 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, beer, disgusting
A couple walked into the supermarket. They looked confused, so a clerk walked up to them and asked them what they wanted. The couple asked for a couple of lottery tickets. He gave the tickets to them, and they paid for them. The husband looked confused again. He asked the clerk, “What the hell do I do with these damn things?” The clerk replied, “Well, you're supposed to scratch the box and see if you've won anything.” The wife looked disgusted. "Oh please," she muttered. "What?" asked the clerk. "Oh nothing," she answered, "it's just that, well, he's been scratching down there for years, and he ain't won a damn thing."
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, husband
Q: What is worse than ten dead people in one trashcan? A: One dead person in ten trashcans!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting
Q: What compliment do you NOT want from a midget? A: Wow! Your hair smells good!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
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