A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
Why are a sorority girl and a tampon similar? They are both stuck up cunts.
Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths? A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears. What am I? Ugly!
Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? A: Kids don't eat broccoli.
Friend 1: "I like my women how I like my milk." Friend 2: "What? White?" Friend 1: "No, expired."
Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone? Answer: No! Response: Wanna go to a party?
Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin? A: Relative humidity.
What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body? My dick.
Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings.