Q: How can you tell if you have an overbite? A: When you're eating p**sy and it tastes like sh*t.
Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump. "Well, go in the bushes." "What should I use to wipe my ass?" "Use a dollar bill." A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with s**t all over his hands. "What happened?" asks his friend. "I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters."
Q: What is worse than ten dead people in one trashcan? A: One dead person in ten trashcans!
Q: Why is it a bad idea for two butt cheeks to get married? A: Because they part for every little shit.
Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise? A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? A: The big hand touches the little one.
Q: Did you hear about the annoying midget who went to a nudist colony? A: He kept getting in everyone's hair.
How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party? When the cake jumps out of the girl!
A couple walked into the supermarket. They looked confused, so a clerk walked up to them and asked them what they wanted. The couple asked for a couple of lottery tickets. He gave the tickets to them, and they paid for them. The husband looked confused again. He asked the clerk, “What the hell do I do with these damn things?” The clerk replied, “Well, you're supposed to scratch the box and see if you've won anything.” The wife looked disgusted. "Oh please," she muttered. "What?" asked the clerk. "Oh nothing," she answered, "it's just that, well, he's been scratching down there for years, and he ain't won a damn thing."
A pollock walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist if he sells condoms. We have some for 75 cents a peace. The man asks for two. The pharmacist calculates the total and says, "That will be $1.58 with tax, sir." The pollock says, "Oh, these come with tacks? I was wondering how you keep them on."