I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears.
What am I?
Ugly!
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Why can't girls play hockey?
Because their pads can't last three periods.
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Q: Did you hear about the leper poker game?
A: One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.
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Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin?
A: Relative humidity.
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What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef Stroke-n-off
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What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body?
My dick.
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What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Putting in twelve and sucking out thirteen.
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Silence is golden.
Unless you have an infant.
Then its probably blue.
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Q: What does an elephant use as tampon?
A: A sheep.
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One roomate said to another, “Man, this morning I woke up with white crud around my mouth!”
The other roomate said, “Oh, that's my fault, I guess I missed!”
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