The best disgusting jokes

A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money." The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?" The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him. He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her. Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears. He freaked, "omg she's sick." He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"
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has 54.59 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: black humor, customer service, dirty, disgusting, money
One roomate said to another, “Man, this morning I woke up with white crud around my mouth!” The other roomate said, “Oh, that's my fault, I guess I missed!”
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: How can you tell if you have an overbite? A: When you're eating p**sy and it tastes like sh*t.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What is worse than ten dead people in one trashcan? A: One dead person in ten trashcans!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting
Q: Why is it a bad idea for two butt cheeks to get married? A: Because they part for every little shit.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, marriage
Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what." Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready." Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave." Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know." Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you." Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does." Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry." Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my panties are just red." Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going." Her: "I'm really on my period." Him: "Damn! He got shot again..."
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, love, relationship
An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, old people, sex, viagra
Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise? A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, disgusting
How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party? When the cake jumps out of the girl!
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
A couple walked into the supermarket. They looked confused, so a clerk walked up to them and asked them what they wanted. The couple asked for a couple of lottery tickets. He gave the tickets to them, and they paid for them. The husband looked confused again. He asked the clerk, “What the hell do I do with these damn things?” The clerk replied, “Well, you're supposed to scratch the box and see if you've won anything.” The wife looked disgusted. "Oh please," she muttered. "What?" asked the clerk. "Oh nothing," she answered, "it's just that, well, he's been scratching down there for years, and he ain't won a damn thing."
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, husband
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