Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game?
A: There was a face-off in the corner.
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An old woman goes to the doctor's office.
The doctor gives her a checkup and says, "I need to do stool, blood and urine tests."
The woman says, "Well can I just leave my underwear? Bingo starts in half an hour."
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How is parsley like pubic hair?
You push it aside to eat, and sometimes it gets stuck between your teeth after meals.
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Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes?
A: The guy who gave it to him.
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Q: What can popsicles do that men can't?
A: Come in five flavors.
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Q: What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef?
A: Anyone can roast beef.
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Silence is golden.
Unless you have an infant.
Then its probably blue.
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What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan?
Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
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Q: How do you eat a frog?
A: You put one leg behind each ear.
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A guy is going down on a prostitute.
During the process he pulls out a piece of corn.
Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues.
Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick."
The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
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