Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass.
What's green and yellow and eats nuts? Gonorrhea.
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
Why can't girls play hockey? Because their pads can't last three periods.
Q: Did you hear about the leper poker game? A: One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.
Yo mama is so stinky that she scared the fly's off the shit wagonrn.
Q: What does an elephant use as tampon? A: A sheep.
How does herpes leave the hospital? On crotches.
Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game? A: There was a face-off in the corner.