Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise?
A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
What do Mario LeMieux and Courtney Love have in common?
They both shower after three periods!
Q: What's brown and taps on the window?
A: A baby in a microwave!
Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?
A: The big hand touches the little one.
Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary?
A: It runs in your genes.
Q: What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea?
A: He drowned in his own tea pe
Q: What is worse than ten dead people in one trashcan?
A: One dead person in ten trashcans!
Bob: "Hey, Sue, why is there a tampon hanging out of your mouth?"
Sue: "Oh my God. What did I do with my cigarette?"
How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Did you hear about the midget that went into the whorehouse?
He got a twat in the face.