The best disgusting jokes

Q: How do you know you're in a vampire bar? A: There's a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, disgusting
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs, with a ten inch penis? A: "Partially disabled."
Vote: has 50.40 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
A young, innocent couple goes on their honeymoon. They get naked and jump into bed, but neither knows what to do. Eventually, they decide to rub their noses together. After awhile, they decide to rub their toes together. Finally, they begin to rub their hips together. Suddenly, the man jumps up and runs to the bathroom. After several minutes, he returns to the bedroom, looking scared. "What happened?" asks his bride. "I don't know," he replies, "but something curdled my urine!"
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, holiday
There once was a girl named Suzy Brown Said no one could lay her down. Over the hill came Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of swinging meat. He took her in the long tall grass, Shoved his dick right up her ass. Then she blew one gnarly fart, Blew his ball two feet apart. Over the hill went Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of shredded meat.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart
There was a vampire who walked into a vampire bar and asked the bartender for a glass of hot water. The bartender asked what for, because everyone else was drinking blood. The vampire pulled out a bloody tampon and said "TEA TIME!"
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, bartender, disgusting
Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today? A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
Vote: has 49.31 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, disgusting
Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
Vote: has 49.30 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting, redneck
Boy while kissing his girlfriend: "Thank u baby... For give me your chewing gum.." Girl says, "This is not chewing gum my love. I’m suffering from cough!"
Vote: has 49.23 % from 118 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, love
Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job? A: After 10 years the job still sucks.
Vote: has 48.71 % from 272 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, time, wife, work
The bartender looks a little worried, but asks him what would he like. "A cup of boiled water please" "Water? I thought you guys drank blood" "Today I was in the mood for tea", says the vampire while taking out a tampon.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bartender, disgusting