Two guys narrowly escaped from a sinking ship on a life raft and discovered a magic lamp tucked away in a dark cranny.
Figuring what the hell, one of the men gave the lamp a rub and "poof," a cloud of smoke.
A second later, a genie appeared and said, "I will grant each of you one wish."
After thinking a while, the first man turned to the genie and said, "I wish I were floating on an ocean of beer."
The genie granted the man's wish and disappeared.
The man's companion turned to him and said, "Way to go idiot. Now we have to pee in the boat."
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What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef Stroke-n-off
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Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin?
A: Relative humidity.
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What's green and sits in the corner?
That same baby three weeks later.
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What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
A salad shooter.
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Q: Why are men like diapers?
A: They are always on your ass and full of sh*t, and thankfully, they're disposable.
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Q: What is worse than waking up the morning after an orgy with pubic hair in your teeth?
A: Waking up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.
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Q: How do you eat a frog?
A: You put one leg behind each ear.
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What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea?
One's a cunning runt.
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Q: What can popsicles do that men can't?
A: Come in five flavors.
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