How do you make stew out of a leper? Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.
How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2.
How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
What’s sicker than driving over a baby? Skidding.
What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree? Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.
How do you unload a truck of zombie babies? With a pitchfork.
Did you hear about the 120-pound guy with the 30-pound testicles? People say he was half-nuts!
What does Michael Jackson call a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll? Bait!
Q: What's the hardest thing about a sex change from a man to a woman? A: Inserting the anchovies
Q: Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? A: They keep falling through the holes in his hands.