Yo mamma’s so hairy, last night I confused here with a bush and pissed on her!
Q: How can you tell the difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo? A: At a straight rodeo they yell "Ride them suckers!"
Did you hear about the 120-pound guy with the 30-pound testicles? People say he was half-nuts!
A guy sees a classified ad that says "Will give Blow Job while singing the Star Spangled Banner at the same time." The guys thinks to himself that it sounds interesting and unbelievable, and so decides to pay her a visit. She lets him in and says that the lights have to be off. So she turns the light off and starts sucking his dick. All of a sudden he hears the Star Spangled Banner, clear as day. He really wants to know how she is doing this so he flips on the lights. All he sees on the floor is a glass eye.
What's the difference between a baby and a grandmother? Grandmothers don't die when you fuck them up the ass.
Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads? So you can pick them up five at a time
What's grosser than gross? A bloody mary with curly, brittle hairs in it!
How do you make stew out of a leper? Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? A: Gulp.
Q: Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? A: They keep falling through the holes in his hands.