Q: What's the difference between an epyleptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diahrrea? A: One shucks between fits.
Q: What do you call a Puerto Rican midget? A: A spec.
Q: How can you tell the difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo? A: At a straight rodeo they yell "Ride them suckers!"
What's small, and red, and full of holes? A baby on a bed of nails.
What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes.
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?
How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil? It depends on how hard you squeeze them.
Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom? They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.
What did the dad say when his son said, "Dad I'm tired of walking in circles?" "Shut up kid or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."