Q: What's the difference between an epyleptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diahrrea?
A: One shucks between fits.
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Q: What do you call a Puerto Rican midget?
A: A spec.
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Q: How can you tell the difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo?
A: At a straight rodeo they yell "Ride them suckers!"
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What's small, and red, and full of holes?
A baby on a bed of nails.
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What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
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Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A: "I feel like a kid again."
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Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?
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How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
It depends on how hard you squeeze them.
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Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom?
They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.
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What did the dad say when his son said, "Dad I'm tired of walking in circles?"
"Shut up kid or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."
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