Q: How can you tell the difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo? A: At a straight rodeo they yell "Ride them suckers!"
Did you hear about the 120-pound guy with the 30-pound testicles? People say he was half-nuts!
Q: What do you call a Puerto Rican midget? A: A spec.
I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom? They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.
Q: What's brown and in the military? A: Gomer's pile.
Q: Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? A: They keep falling through the holes in his hands.
How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads? So you can pick them up five at a time
What's grosser than gross? A bloody mary with curly, brittle hairs in it!