Q: What do Rodney King and Nicole Simpson have in common? A: They just didn't listen
A guy sees a classified ad that says "Will give Blow Job while singing the Star Spangled Banner at the same time." The guys thinks to himself that it sounds interesting and unbelievable, and so decides to pay her a visit. She lets him in and says that the lights have to be off. So she turns the light off and starts sucking his dick. All of a sudden he hears the Star Spangled Banner, clear as day. He really wants to know how she is doing this so he flips on the lights. All he sees on the floor is a glass eye.
Boy Monster: Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's? Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you. Boy Monster: Is it still beating?
Q: What do you call a Puerto Rican midget? A: A spec.
Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom? They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.
Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads? So you can pick them up five at a time
How do you make stew out of a leper? Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? A: Gulp.
Q: Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? A: They keep falling through the holes in his hands.
Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?