The best disgusting jokes

There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the doctor. The doc ran some tests and sent him home with some medicine. The next day the doctor called and the wife answered. "I'm going to need to run a few more tests", the doctor said. "I'm going to need a semen, urine and a fecal sample". After she hung up the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?" "He needs a pair of your underwear".
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has 72.26 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, drug, husband, wife
Little Red Riding Hood went to her grandma's house and found her laying in bed. Little Red Riding Hood said, "Grandma, what big eyes you have!" Grandma: "The better to see you with, my dear." Little Red Riding Hood: "Grandma, what big ears you have!" Grandma: "The better to hear you with, my dear." Little Red Riding Hood: "Grandma, what a big mouth you have!" Grandma: "Of course I do, have you seen Grandpa's d**k?!"
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has 72.22 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
When I reached bus stop I saw a pretty blonde who was gazing me. First I supposed perhaps she loves me so I also watched her and twinkled her. Then I understood she has farted and is looking me in order whether I would feel or not.
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has 72.16 % from 159 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, fart, love
As she lay there dozing next to me a voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax, you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients." But another voice kept saying, "Howard, you are a veterinarian."
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has 72.08 % from 488 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, sex
"Doctor, I have a problem..." "What’s your problem?" "I pee in my sleep, every night!" "Why?" "Oh, well... Every night, a little devil visits me in my sleep and asks me; “Did we pee today?”. "And, that’s it? The solution is so simple.. Listen to me! If the little devil comes again you’re gonna answer; 'Yeah, dude, I did!'" "And that will cut it off?" "Sure! Like a knife!" At night, the little devil showed up on the patient’s dream and whispered; "Did we pee today?" "Yeah, dude, I did!" said angry the guy. And little devil replied: "What about poop?"
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has 72.05 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor
Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit? A: The best ones squirt when you eat them.
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has 71.98 % from 225 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Why do farts smell? A: So deaf people can enjoy them, too.
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has 71.93 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Little Johnny comes home one day and says, "Mom! Little Mark next door has a penis like a peanut!" "What do you mean, Johnny? Is it shaped like a peanut?" "No," says Johnny. "It's salty."
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has 71.60 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, gay, little Johnny
Q: Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank? A: Drinking on the job.
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has 71.60 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, gay, work
Three men walk into a bar. The barman tells them, "If you can sit in my basement for a day, I'll give you free beer forever." The first man walks out after five minutes and says, "It's impossible, you got a swarm of flies in there." So the second man tries his luck, but can't take more than an hour. Finally, the third man goes down. When he returns a day later, the others ask him how he did it. He says, "Easy! I took a dump in one corner and sat in the other corner!"
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has 71.56 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, beer, disgusting