The best disgusting jokes

Q: What's a good holiday tip? A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, disgusting, holiday, winter
Two skunks observed a deer hunter sneaking through the woods with a rifle. "I hope he's not going to shoot at us," said one skunk. The second skunk bowed his head and said, "Let us spray."
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting, hunting, mean
Yo mama is so fat whenever I want to make sex I would request her to fart in order to find the address of her ass.
Vote: has 71.19 % from 165 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart, fat, sex, Yo mama
A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel's elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, "Georgio, $100 an ounce." On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, "Chanel, $150 an ounce." The old lady's floor approaches and as the doors open, she bends over, farts and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."
Vote: has 71.16 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, disgusting, fart, money, women
An eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse. Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagle's butt and asks, "How high up are we?" "About 2,000 feet," the eagle replies. The mouse replies, "You ain't sh*ttin' me, are you?"
Vote: has 71.05 % from 86 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting
Little Red Riding Hood walks through the forest and sees a wolf hunched under a tree with its ears erect and its mouth stretched in a big grimace. She says to the wolf, "My, what big ears you have!" The wolf keeps grimacing. She says, "My, what big eyes you have!" The wolf grimaces even wider, baring his teeth. She says, "My, what big teeth you have!" The wolf finally snaps and says, "F**k off! I'm trying to take a dump."
Vote: has 70.92 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting
I was having a shit in the train toilet today, when some bloke knocked on the door. He said, "Can I see your ticket please?" "Not right now" I shouted, "I'm having a shit!" He said, "I don't believe you, can you pass it under the door?" "No problem," I said, sliding it under. "The yellow bits are sweetcorn."
Vote: has 70.92 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs. A: Ground Beef!
Vote: has 70.70 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
A guy walks into a bar and announces that he can close his eyes and name what kind of alcohol he is drinking and how old it is, just by taste and smell. A drunken guy at the bar says, "I bet I can give you a drink that you can't name." "You're on," replies the guy, "as long as you pay." So the drunken guy puts a drink on the table. The guy sips it, gags and spits it out. "This tastes like piss!" "Yeah," says the drunken guy, "now guess how old I am."
Vote: has 70.70 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, alcohol, bar, disgusting, drunk
An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. "Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."
Vote: has 70.55 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, chocolate, disgusting, food, work