The best disgusting jokes

Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, food, mother in law
Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit? A: The best ones squirt when you eat them.
Vote: has 71.49 % from 221 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting
Two skunks observed a deer hunter sneaking through the woods with a rifle. "I hope he's not going to shoot at us," said one skunk. The second skunk bowed his head and said, "Let us spray."
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, disgusting, hunting, mean
Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blowjob? A: The blowjob. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blowjob.
Vote: has 71.25 % from 146 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, food, wife
Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian? A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!
Vote: has 70.69 % from 120 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, lawyer, lesbian
An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. "Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."
Vote: has 70.55 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, chocolate, disgusting, food, work
Q: Why do farts smell? A: So deaf people can enjoy them, too.
Vote: has 70.43 % from 88 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, fart
There was an old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out. The old woman went in her bedroom, stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string. When she walked out of the room her husband yelled, "You can't go out like that!" "I can go out as whatever I want and so can you!" The man agreed and went into his room. Soon he came out naked with a string tied to his penis and a potato at the end of the string. The woman said, "You're going out as that?" "Yes," said the old man. "If you can go out as a sourpuss, I can go out as a dicktator."
Vote: has 70.43 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: couple, disgusting, Halloween, old people
A vacuum salesman goes door-to-door in a new neighborhood. When a woman answers the door at the first house, the salesman walks right in and drops cow patties on her floor. He says, "Ma'am, just to show you how confident I am in the quality of my vacuums, I'll eat whatever the vacuum doesn't pick up." The woman smiles and asks, "Could I get you some ketchup with that?" The salesman scoffs confidently and says, "I assure you my vacuums have more power than any other on the market today!" The woman replies, "Well, that may be so, but we just moved in and the electricity isn't turned on yet."
Vote: has 70.43 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting
Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a flasher came by in only an overcoat and opened it as wide as it could go. The first little old lady had a stroke, the second little old lady also had a stroke, but the third little old lady couldn't reach.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, old people


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