When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord. He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second. It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
Chuck Norris can skydive indoors.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
I don't understand why people pay shrinks when I'll tell them what's wrong with themselves for free.
A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis." The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."