When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord. He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second. It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
Chuck Norris can see at least 3 extra colors.
Q:Why is a doctor always calm. A: Because it has a lot of patients.
One day a Blonde went the doctor with a burn on her stomach. The doctor gasped and asked what happened. the Blonde told the doctor she put a lighter against her stomach. The doctor asked her why in the world she would do that. the blond said "I was trying to burn calories."
Patient: "May I have a glass of water, doctor." Doctor: "Are you thirsty?" Patient: "No… I just wanted to check whether my throat leaks."