When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
Chuck Norris was born feet first. It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord. He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second. It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
A man with pain on his right knee consulted his doctor. Doctor said: "It is nothing to worry about. It is due to old age." Patient: "The left knee is of the same age. But how is it that leg does not pain?"
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out. Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences. Then hang up.