The best drug jokes

Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS! When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.
Vote: has 71.60 % from 136 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drug, drunk, sport
The Bible says I'll pay for my sins. I already do, Escorts, drugs and alcohol don't come free.
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bible, drug, money
Drug test? What kind of drugs are we testing?
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drug
Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sex? They're called "Predickamints".
Vote: has 69.79 % from 105 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drug, sex
A guy goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The girl behind the counter says, “What size?” He says, “I don’t know.” She hold up a finger and says, “That big?” He says, “Bigger.” She holds up three fingers and says, “That big?” He says, “Smaller?” She holds up two fingers and he says, “That’s it.” She puts the two fingers in her mouth and says, “Medium.”
Vote: has 69.06 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, drug
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she asked if her drug test was multiple choice.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drug, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, drug
The phone rings at Federal Drug Enforcement Agency headquarters. "Hello?" "Hello, is this the Federal Drug Enforcement Agency?" "Yes. What can we do for you?" "I’m calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding cocaine in his firewood." "Thank you, this will be noted." Next day, the Drug Enforcement agents come over to Tom’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no cocaine, swear at Tom and leave. The phone rings at Tom’s house. "Hey, Tom! Did the Federal Drug Enforcement guys come by?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood for you?" "Yeah, they did." "Okay, now it’s YOUR turn to call. I need my garden plowed."
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, drug, phone
Your mama is so short when she tried to get high she couldn't.
Vote: has 65.19 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drug, weed, Yo mama
Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?" Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it." Doctor: "Why?" Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drug, health, life