The best drug jokes

A guy goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The girl behind the counter says, “What size?” He says, “I don’t know.” She hold up a finger and says, “That big?” He says, “Bigger.” She holds up three fingers and says, “That big?” He says, “Smaller?” She holds up two fingers and he says, “That’s it.” She puts the two fingers in her mouth and says, “Medium.”
Vote: has 71.29 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, drug
Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS! When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.
Vote: has 70.96 % from 129 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drug, drunk, sport
Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?" Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it." Doctor: "Why?" Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drug, health, life
Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sex? They're called "Predickamints".
Vote: has 67.94 % from 95 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drug, sex
Charlie Sheen can achieve recovery by taking a drug called Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, drug
Cocaine is Addicted to Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, drug
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she asked if her drug test was multiple choice.
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drug, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
A traveling salesman rings this doorbell. 10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?" Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, drug, kids
A blonde walks into a drugstore and purchases a pack of condoms. "That will be $1.08, please," says the clerk. "What are the eight cents for?" asks the blonde. "It says one dollar right here on the packaging." "Tax," replies the clerk. "Gee," says the blonde, "I thought you just rolled them on and they stayed put."
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, drug, money, tax
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?" Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine." Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this." Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, drug, health, memory, old people