The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.
Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym? A: He was destroying his calves.
I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
Q: Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted? A: Because he was squatting.
Someone call CSI. I just killed my workout.
One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence. Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. "You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras." That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."
When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.
Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer? A: Show us your calves!
When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat. The weights do.