The best fitness jokes

One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence. Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. "You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras." That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."
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has 69.38 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: fitness, health, sex, sport, wife
I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: car, fitness, gym, time
Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store? A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, fitness, IT
Q: Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted? A: Because he was squatting.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: fitness
Someone call CSI. I just killed my workout.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: cop, death, fitness
Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym? A: He was destroying his calves.
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has 63.97 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: animal, fitness, gym
Q: What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym? A: Curls.
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has 63.81 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: fitness, gym
I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
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has 63.81 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: fitness, flirt, gym, sport
Doctor: "Yes, what is it I can do for you?" Blond: "Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends told me that if I did this particular exercise, all my body’s blood would go into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn’t anyone say that all the blood would go into the legs?" Doctor: "The fact’s your legs are not that hollow as your head is."
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor, fitness
The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
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has 61.98 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness, health