The best fitness jokes

The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
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has 73.28 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness, health
My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: fat, fitness
Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym? A: He was destroying his calves.
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has 69.93 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, fitness, gym
I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
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has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: car, fitness, gym, time
Q: Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted? A: Because he was squatting.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: fitness
Someone call CSI. I just killed my workout.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: cop, death, fitness
One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence. Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. "You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras." That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."
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has 67.69 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: fitness, health, sex, sport, wife
When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness, health
Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer? A: Show us your calves!
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, fitness
When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat. The weights do.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness