The best fitness jokes

Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness, life
Just been to the gym and there's a new machine. Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick. Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, fitness, food, gym
I don't always go to the gym, but when I do, I make sure Facebook knows about it.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Facebook, fitness, gym
Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness
Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles? A: Mr. XMass
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, fitness
Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road? A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fitness, sport
Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness, gym
Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness
Doctor: "Yes, what is it I can do for you?" Blond: "Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends told me that if I did this particular exercise, all my body’s blood would go into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn’t anyone say that all the blood would go into the legs?" Doctor: "The fact’s your legs are not that hollow as your head is."
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, doctor, fitness
No time for gym? Please tell me how you watch 3 hours of TV every night.
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fitness, gym, time