Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles? A: Mr. XMass
Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
Q: Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger train on a desert island? A: He wanted maximum isolation.
There were two guys at a gym Dan and Mike who hit the showers after a hard morning workout. Dan said to Mike "Hey! Have you heard? That there is a gay guy at our gym today." The Mike looking really curious and replies "Oh? Who do you think he is?" Dan looks at Mike from mid-section to eye level and, says "Let me give you a kiss first before I tell you who."
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.
Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.