Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles?
A: Mr. XMass
This elliptical isn't the only thing getting my heart rate up.
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up?
Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life.
When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
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Q: Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger train on a desert island?
A: He wanted maximum isolation.
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Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
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There were two guys at a gym Dan and Mike who hit the showers after a hard morning workout.
Dan said to Mike "Hey! Have you heard? That there is a gay guy at our gym today."
The Mike looking really curious and replies "Oh? Who do you think he is?"
Dan looks at Mike from mid-section to eye level and, says "Let me give you a kiss first before I tell you who."
When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.
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The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.
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