I got stopped by a police officer on the way here. He told me it was illegal to carry these guns in public.
There were two guys at a gym Dan and Mike who hit the showers after a hard morning workout. Dan said to Mike "Hey! Have you heard? That there is a gay guy at our gym today." The Mike looking really curious and replies "Oh? Who do you think he is?" Dan looks at Mike from mid-section to eye level and, says "Let me give you a kiss first before I tell you who."
This elliptical isn't the only thing getting my heart rate up.
Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
No time for gym? Please tell me how you watch 3 hours of TV every night.
Do you squat here often?
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."