In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York.
Yo mama so fat that she is called America.
I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley - the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you're still the King.
Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii? Moo moos.
Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle? It wants to keep it's Stockholm!
How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia? 2 months... How does he get there? He walks.
Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter? A: Because it's too far to walk!
An angry man is coming home and shouts to his wife, "I know everything!" His wife reacts right away, "Is that so? Then tell me please. Who is the fifth highest peak in the world?"
A homo went to Denmark to have a sex change operation performed. When 'SHE' returned, a friend asked, "How did it go?" "Oh awful, just awful!" she replied. "What was so awful?" asked the friend, "Did it hurt a lot when they removed the extra parts?" "Oh no," she replied, "That wasn't bad at all." "Well, did it hurt when they put in the silicone implants?" the friend asked. "Oh no, that wasn't bad either!" she replied. "Well then," asked the friend, "What was so awful?" "It was when they cut a hole in my head and took out half my brain!"