Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A: Because it's too far to walk!
Q: What do u call 1,000 black people on a plane back to Africa?
A: A good start.
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Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Q: What was the dentist doing in Panama?
A: Looking for the Root Canal!
Chuck Norris once jumped. Now we have seven Continents and a tilted planet.
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My friend's dad went to Hungary.
I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"
Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam...
In the Sahara Desert.
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So God is getting a bit bored in heaven, and he asks his archangel Michael, "Michael, I need to get away from it all for a bit. Where should I go to clear my head?"
Michael replies, "Well, you could always go to Pluto. You could go create a mountain and ski, have a bit of fun."
God says, "No, I don't think so. I don't do so well with the cold, and frostbite was definitely not one of my better creations."
The archangels says, "Alright, well you could always try Mercury. It's nice and warm, you could just take a bit of time to relax, get a nice tan."
"Michael," God says, "do you see how white I am? I would burn to a crisp."
Michael replies, "Alright, well then why don't you go to Earth?"
"Fuck that," God says, "last time I went there I got some girl pregnant and I never heard the end of it."
A gay American was caught by his Filipino gay husband cheating.
The American husband asked, "how did you find out?"
The Filipino husband replied, "through my Western Union Receipts."
The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
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