I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley - the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you're still the King.
Q: What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet? A: The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
My friend's dad went to Hungary. I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
In 2011 someone asked Chuck Norris if he had ever been to Portugal. He answered: "Where?" The country went bankrupt.
Chuck Norris once decided to dig a hole, today we call it the Grand Canyon.
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert? A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
Scientis cannot figure out where Atlantis is... Chuck Norris owns a villa there.
Chuck Norris once jumped. Now we have seven Continents and a tilted planet.
In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York.