Yo mama so fat that she is called America.
Scientis cannot figure out where Atlantis is... Chuck Norris owns a villa there.
A woman called the Colorado State Division of Wildlife regarding a snake in her backyard. "Can you tell me what kind it is?" she asked. "Can you describe it?" I asked. "Yes," she said. "It's long and thin."
Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle? It wants to keep it's Stockholm!
How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia? 2 months... How does he get there? He walks.
What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii? Moo moos.
An angry man is coming home and shouts to his wife, "I know everything!" His wife reacts right away, "Is that so? Then tell me please. Who is the fifth highest peak in the world?"
In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York.
A homo went to Denmark to have a sex change operation performed. When 'SHE' returned, a friend asked, "How did it go?" "Oh awful, just awful!" she replied. "What was so awful?" asked the friend, "Did it hurt a lot when they removed the extra parts?" "Oh no," she replied, "That wasn't bad at all." "Well, did it hurt when they put in the silicone implants?" the friend asked. "Oh no, that wasn't bad either!" she replied. "Well then," asked the friend, "What was so awful?" "It was when they cut a hole in my head and took out half my brain!"
One day a British came to India. He met a pan wala. He asked can you teach me Hindi. The betel man agreed. He said "Ye mera pan patta,yeh tumhare pan patta, yeh ham Sabka pan patta". The Britisher said "Yeh mera pant phatta,yeh tumhara pant phatta,yeh ham Sabka pant phatta".