"It's a boy," I shouted, as tears began to roll down my cheeks. "I can't believe it, it really is a boy." That's when I swore never to return to Thailand.
Q: What 80's rock band is banned from New Orleans and why? A: The Scorpions. Every time they're in town, they rock you like a hurricane.
God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.
A busload of retired Americans was touring Switzerland. On the third day, they visited a farm known for its excellent quality goat cheese. The young farmer's wife gave them a tour, a cheese making a demonstration, and finally some samples. As the retirees were tasting the cheeses, she pointed to a pasture full of goats. She said, "This is a special pasture where we let our older goats graze happily after they can no longer give milk. In the United States, what do you do with your old goats?" An old lady piped up, "Honey, they take us on bus tours."
I really do have a soft spot for my MIL. It's out in the garden behind the garage.
What's the difference between a white naked woman and a black naked woman? The white girl is seen in Playboy and the black chick is seen on National Geographic.
Q: Why is Santa always so jolly when he comes to the UK? A: He can claim Gift Relief.
It's so quiet in the Hollywood Starbucks this morning, you can hear a name drop.
Yo moma so fat she jumped off the Grand Canon and got stuck.
Once visiting Arizona, Chuck Norris spat on the ground. The place is now known as the meteor crater.