Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest in India.
When we moved to the US I was 8 years old. I remember asking my father if I can have an allowance? When he asked me what that was, I said you're allowed to give me money.
Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam... In the Sahara Desert.
Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert? A: Peach gobbler.
At a poor-side of Athens, a kid were on the street and was playing. A cop who was crossing around that street, saw him and asked him: "What are you doing there kiddo?" "I’m playing..." "What are you playing?" "Oh, well... I collect sand, I pour some water in and I add then some poop and I’m making little weaklings!" "What kind of weaklings?" "Cops..." The cop, furious, slaps the kid and screams: "Get the hell away from here and run to your house! I never wanna see you wondering around here." For the next two days, the kid didn’t show up. The third day, the kid was on the same spot, playing. The cop, saw him again and approached the kid. "What are you doing there?" "I’m playing..." "What?" "Oh, well... I collect sand, then pour some water in and I’m making little weaklings." "Congratulations! enthusiastic said the cop. And what kind of weaklings you’re making there?" "Firefighters...!" "So, how come you’re not putting any poop on them as well?" "Cause, whenever I do, they come out cops...!"
Q: What is a French cat's favorite dessert? A: Chocolate mousse.
Q: How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 10, 1 to change the bulb and 9 to share the experience.
Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA? A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.