CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
Scientis cannot figure out where Atlantis is... Chuck Norris owns a villa there.
Chuck Norris once jumped. Now we have seven Continents and a tilted planet.
How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia? 2 months... How does he get there? He walks.
In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York.
The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii? Moo moos.
Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle? It wants to keep it's Stockholm!
An angry man is coming home and shouts to his wife, "I know everything!" His wife reacts right away, "Is that so? Then tell me please. Who is the fifth highest peak in the world?"
A black african man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bartender says "That's pretty nice where did you get it?" "Africa" the parrot responds.