Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam...
In the Sahara Desert.
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What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii?
Moo moos.
They were just five lakes, until Chuck Norris said they were Great!
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Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle?
It wants to keep it's Stockholm!
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
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How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia?
2 months...
How does he get there?
He walks.
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An angry man is coming home and shouts to his wife, "I know everything!"
His wife reacts right away, "Is that so? Then tell me please. Who is the fifth highest peak in the world?"
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
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The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
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A homo went to Denmark to have a sex change operation performed.
When 'SHE' returned, a friend asked, "How did it go?"
"Oh awful, just awful!" she replied.
"What was so awful?" asked the friend, "Did it hurt a lot when they removed the extra parts?"
"Oh no," she replied, "That wasn't bad at all."
"Well, did it hurt when they put in the silicone implants?" the friend asked.
"Oh no, that wasn't bad either!" she replied.
"Well then," asked the friend, "What was so awful?"
"It was when they cut a hole in my head and took out half my brain!"