Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey? A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
One of the two adult female friends got married and went on honeymoon to Hawaii. On return curious other girl asked her friend, “What sightseeing places did you go in Hawaii and what did you see?” The honeymoon girl explained, “For seven days, I saw only the fan on the ceiling of the room and occasionally when turned around, I saw the bed sheet too.”
For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! "Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!" "Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."
There were only two people in line ahead of me at the electronics store, yet the wait was dragging on forever. Finally, the customer behind me muttered, "Mr. Hare must be on vacation." Only then did I notice the name tag on the man at the register. It read: "Mr. Turtle, sales associate."
A well known TV Evangelists is booking into a posh hotel. He tells the duty manager, "I hope the porn channel is set to disabled" The manager looks at him and replies, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard!"
Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they are taken care of by Dave the bellboy. The first man married a nurse. Dave thinks to himself, "Nurses are known to be hot to trot." The second man married a telephone operator. Dave thinks to himself, "Telephone operators have sexy voices." The third man married a school teacher. Dave thinks to himself, "Poor guy, teachers are frigid." The next morning, Dave reports to work and gets a room service call from the nurse's husband. He sourly says, "Don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night was 'You're not sanitary, you're not sanitary.'" Then, the telephone operator's husband calls and sourly says, "Don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I heard last night was 'Your three minutes are up, your three minutes are up.'" Later that afternoon, the teacher's husband calls and happily says, "When you marry, be sure to marry a school teacher. All I heard last night was 'We are going to do this over and over until we get right.'"
Q: Why dont blacks celebrate Thanksgiving? A: Because KFC isn't open on holidays.
Q: What's a terrorist's favorite day in November? A: Bomb fire night.
A man went with his wife on honeymoon and they were getting undressed together for the first time. The man took off his shoes and socks and his toes were all twisted and discolored. "What happened to your feet?" his wife asked. "I had a childhood disease called Tolio." "Don't you mean polio?" "No, tolio, it only affects the toes." Men then removed his pants and revealed an awful-looking pair of knees. "What happened to your knees?" she asked. "Well, I also had Kneesles." "Don't you mean measles?" "No, kneesles, it only affects the knees." When he removed his shorts, his wife gasped and said, "Don't tell me, you also had Smallcox!"
I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.