The best IT jokes

A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society. Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests. The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people. Host: Who have you brought along? Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost. A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people. Host: Who have you bought along? DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants. A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own. Host: Why haven't you brought anyone? SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fan. 20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess. Host: Where have you been MySQL? MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.
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Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
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Q: What did the dentist say to the computer? A: This won't hurt a byte
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Man: Hello, my computer is reporting a fatal error! Customer Support: Well there's nothing we can do now, you should have called us when it was still critical!
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What is a cursor? Someone having computer problems.
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What do you call a bent iPhone 6 plus? A dead wringer.
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There are only two kinds of computer. The latest model, and the obsolete.
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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change it, and two to complain about how bad GE's customer support is.
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"Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?" "No..." "Inheritance."
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Q: What do you call a group of 8 hobbits A: Hobbyte.
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