What happens when a cow stops shaving? It grows a Moostache.
What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man? Tarzan stripes forever.
How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed.
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine. In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.
Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.
‘I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.’ Steven Wright
A blonde is driving down the road and she sees a dead rabbit. She stops the car and called out, "Does anybody got any hairspray!?" A man pulls up and gives her a bottle of spray and she sprays it on the dead rabbit and the man stares and says "Why u doing that?" The blonde says "Hairspray is for dead hairs"
Law of Cat Composition A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
I was in Venice Beach in January and there was a homeless man with a sign that said "1 dollar for dirty joke." Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar. Homeless man: "Alright sir whats your name?" Me: "John" Homeless man: "So Johny, there is black rooster alright? How many legs does that chicken have." Me: "Two?" Homeless man: "Right, now how many wings this black rooster got?" Me: "Two?" Homeless man: "Right, now how many eyes this black rooster got?" Me: "Two?" Homeless man: "Right again, now there is this white cat walking around how many hairs are on that white cat?" Me: "I don't know? A lot?" Homeless man: "Well Johny, why do you know so much about black cock and not enough about white pussy."
Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses? He was a rough rider!
What do you call a dumb bunny? A hare brain.