What happens when a cow stops shaving? It grows a Moostache.
Rabbit: "Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?" Doctor: "Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."
Why do cows think cooks are mean? They whip cream!
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!" "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
Your mom's so dumb, she threw the dog and told the stick to fetch!
What's green with red spots? A frog with the chicken pox!
Q: Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? A: Because then they'd be bay gulls.
When is the best time to fake an orgasm? When a rottweiler is humping your leg.
Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? A: To get chocolate milk.