When Chuck Norris asks you to stop mid-sentence, you.
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
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Lightning doesn't strike Chuck Norris, chuck norris strikes lightning!
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Chuck Norris actually completed Tetris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
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Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
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In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
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Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
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Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices.
But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
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