Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris designed and created two series of cars. These are now known as Autobots and Decepticons.
When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Trains stop at Chuck Norris crossings.
Chuck Norris protects his airbag in an accident.
When Chuck Norris falls into a puddle of water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris. This is just a joke, we know Chuck Norris doesn't fall..ever
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris.
Hip-Hop is dead because of Chuck Norris.