Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
When Chuck Norris plays the game Clue, the answer is always everyone in every room with a roundhouse kick!
When somebody else yawns, Chuck Norris does not.
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.
The fact that the evil killer doll from the movie 'Child's play' is named 'Chucky' is not a coincidence.
Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk. He simply lowers his IQ to yours.