Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
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If Chuck Norris were a toy, everything about it would be hazardous.
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Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.
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Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
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When Chuck Norris went to the beach, he gave the ocean a bath.
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Chuck Norris eats blackholes as light snacks.
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Chuck Norris has hair of steel wool.
That's why his mullet never moves.
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Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
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Chuck Norris can make scissors beat rock.
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Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
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Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?"
Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
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