Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
When everyone else can't, Chuck Norris CAN.
They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
In World War 2 Chuck Norris Pointed his Fingers at an enemy zero and said BANG, The plane burst into flames and crashed.
If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.
Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Cancer gets checked for Chuck Norris.
Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.
When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.