Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
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Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy.
"There were no survivors."
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When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, they take a number.
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Chuck Norris only weakness, is weakness, of course!
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No man can perfectly predict the weather, not even Chuck Norris.
But the weather DOES try to predict what kind of day Chuck would like to have...
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There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
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911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency.
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The goal of life is living in agreement with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars.
He smokes smoke grenades.
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Extra Terrestrials often visit Earth from other galaxies - they're here to see if Chuck Norris really exists.
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Most kids pee their name into snow...
Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
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