Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
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It is a fact that Chuck Norris cannot cry, this is because his tearducts are too muscular.
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Chuck Norris fires Donald Trump.
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You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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Note to self:
Don’t be the cashier to tell Chuck Norris his coupons have expired.
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Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
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All men are created equal.
Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
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May 6th, 1945: A then five-year old Chuck Norris swam the Atlantic Ocean.
The next day, the Nazis surrendered...
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