Nice guys finish last because bad guys run faster from Chuck Norris.
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up. Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
Only Chuck Norris can cross the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond store.
Chuck Norris once stayed at the Hotel California and was allowed to check out... and leave.
Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
Chuck Norris can do a downward uppercut.
Messing with Chuck Norris is the only thing that will get you disqualified from a Colonial Penn Life Insurance policy - at any age.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole bucket of sleepng pills and it managed to make him yawn.
We'll want to preserve Chuck Norris for future generations, when he dies. We won't be needing cryogenics cos Chuck's already frozen.
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them