Nice guys finish last because bad guys run faster from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can power solar panels. At Night.
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
Most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph. Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.
When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
Chuck Norris once threw a pebble. We now call it...Hayley's Comet.
If Chuck Norris punches you in your dream you will wake up with bruises.
Chuck Norris can build a house from the roof down.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.