Nice guys finish last because bad guys run faster from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer.
Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
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The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
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There was once a ship that wouldn't let chuck norris on board.
It is now known as titanic
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Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
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When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen.
Twice.
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The Grimm Reaper lost his job the day Chuck Norris was born.
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Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
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