Nice guys finish last because bad guys run faster from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris."
Then his reflection cried and walked away.
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Chuck Norris can open Microsoft Windows when he needs fresh air.
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Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
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Chuck Norris gets a the highest score possible on Wii Fit by sitting down.
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Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
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Chuck Norris once leaned on the Tower of Pisa...
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Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed.
She is now known as Britney Spears.
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Chuck Norris can make a stop sign say go.
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