The earth doesn't revolve around the sun. It's the sun that revolves around Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past. He has never made any mistakes.
Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
Chuck Norris doesnt' walk away from explosions, explosions walk away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.
Chuck Norris can make a robot bleed.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
When Chuck Norris goes through airport security he makes them take their shoes off.