The earth doesn't revolve around the sun. It's the sun that revolves around Chuck Norris.
Sundials tell the time according to the position of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris went to the sun and spent two nights.
Superman is weakened when exposed to Kryptonite. Chuck Norris eats Kryptonite for breakfast without even a belch.
Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
If there's something strange... In your neighborhood... Who ya gonna call?... CHUCK NORRIS!
The supreme court issued a ban not allowing Chuck Norris to flex his muscles, for fear of public safety.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
When somebody is all up in your face, just be glad that that someone is NOT Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.