The earth doesn't revolve around the sun.
It's the sun that revolves around Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris actually died a while back.
Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
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The Hulk is Green because he envys Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can punch a hole through thin air.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory.
He refreshes webpages by blinking.
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Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
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A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
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When Chuck Norris plays the game Clue, the answer is always everyone in every room with a roundhouse kick!
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This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
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The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
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