Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter.
He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
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Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
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When Chuck Norris forgets something it ceases to exist.
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There are 5 known levels of Super-Saiyan.
Achieving the 6th level is known as "Going Chuck Norris."
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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.
It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris.
There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
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Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee.
He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe.
Chuck said, "I don't like the juice."
Hitler heard him wrong.
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