Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter.
He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
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Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
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Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
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Chuck Norris can access private methods.
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Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids.
The results came back positive.
When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
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Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
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Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.
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Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
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Chuck Norris once bowled a 300...
Without a ball...
He wasn't even in a bowling ally.
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Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
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