Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter.
He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
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Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris.
Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
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We ask the president to make laws.
The president asks Chuck Norris.
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The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
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Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.
His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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Chuck Norris knows what the secret crabby patty recipe is.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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Chuck Norris will never die.
The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
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Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
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Chuck Norris reached level 51 on Oblivion.
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