Chuck Norris sees dead people...and they run.
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If Chuck Norris jumped off the Empire State Building, your mom would tell you to do it too.
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Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
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Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime.
Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
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Water can't breath under Chuck Norris.
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One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
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Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.
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In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep.
Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
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The supreme court issued a ban not allowing Chuck Norris to flex his muscles, for fear of public safety.
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In America, Chuck Norris finds you But in Soviet Russia, you find Chuck Norris.
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