Chuck Norris sees dead people...and they run.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can make you feel a punch to your face in your groin.
Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris. Once.
Chuck Norris is in every action film ever made but sometimes he only shows up as EXPLOSIONS.
Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
Chuck Norris can drink from an empty cup.
Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
Daylight Savings happened when Chuck Norris overslept an hour.
Ozzy Ozbourne once bit the head off a bat. Not one to be outdone, Chuck Norris bit the head off Batman!
Chuck Norris is the only man who can put M&M's in alphabetical order.
Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.