Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
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Chuck Norris can put out fire with gasoline.
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When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
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To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
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Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.
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Chuck Norris has a daugter: Jason Bourne.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
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The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.
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Chuck Norris is why we don't need no stinking badgers.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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