Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' free advice is worth a fortune.
Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine. We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
When Chuck Norris plays the game Clue, the answer is always everyone in every room with a roundhouse kick!
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Chuck Norris directly in the eyes...
Chuck Norris saw the Invisible Man.