Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
When Chuck Norris puts toast in the toaster it comes out bread.
Chuck Norris never has a deja vu. No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
Chuck Norris is the only person who could truly judge a book by its' cover.
With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
Beetlejuice is afraid to say Chuck Norris 3 times.
If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.