Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
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Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
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This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
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Chuck Norris climbed the stairway to heaven, and came back down again.
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The Grimm Reaper fears the day Chuck Norris comes for him.
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A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.
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Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
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Chuck Norris made Journey stop beleiving.
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Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.
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Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
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