Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books.
The words assemble themselves out of fear.
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Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.
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Leonardo DiCaprio had to ask permission from Chuck Norris to say the famous line "I'm the king of the world."
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Chuck norris farted in a ditch and the grand canyon was created.
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Water can drown if Chuck Norris stays underwater for too long.
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Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
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Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
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Bacons' favorite smell is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris jumped the grand canyon...longways
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Chuck Norris jokes are a oxymoron because Chuck Norris isn't a joke.
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