Chuck Norris jumped the grand canyon...longways
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When Chuck Norris steps on a crack he breaks another persons mother's back.
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Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
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Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
The true reason why the Nazi's lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.
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Chuck Norris blows out trick candles.
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Chuck was once on the Olympics and he won all the medals but he was disqualifyed for roundhouse kicking the judges because they misspelled his name.
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Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
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While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
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Dreams about Chuck Norris are in 4D.
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Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
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