Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books.
The words assemble themselves out of fear.
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The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris.
The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
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Chuck Norris can see all 50 states from his house.
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Before sliced bread, people used to say "That's the greatest thing since Chuck Norris".
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Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
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Messing with Chuck Norris is the only thing that will get you disqualified from a Colonial Penn Life Insurance policy - at any age.
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Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
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Wolverine has been called indestructible because of his adamantium skeleton... until Chuck Norris broke every bone in his body.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer.
Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.
Twice.
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