Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
Chuck Norris is so fast that when he runs, he can see his back.
Chuck Norris' keyboad has no delete key. Chuck Norris never makes a mistake!
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
Chuck Norris once stared death in the face... Death pissed his pants.
Chuck Norris can "make it rain in Southern California".
Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet. Chuck Norris can curve a laser.
Motley Crue released a new song called "Roundhouse Kickstart My Heart" dedicated to Chuck Norris. It will be number one in the top 40 forever.
The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.