Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Chuck Norris' yawn put people in comas.
Chuck Norris is in every action film ever made but sometimes he only shows up as EXPLOSIONS.
I once made a joke about Chuck Norr...