A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face.
Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
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When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears.
Candyman ain't stupid.
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When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive.
The zombies do.
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Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
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Chuck Norris once won a Poker tournament using only Pokemon cards.
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Chuck Norris can fold airplanes into paper.
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Chuck Norris can Do Mental Math on Paper.
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Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
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Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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Getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris?
The only good news is you know when you will die.
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