A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Chuck Norris watched the entire Lord of the Rings without blinking.
Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Chuck Norris dosn't have a star on Hollywood Blvd he has a constellation.
Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
Bacons' favorite smell is Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.