A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Chuck Norris once shot someone with a knife.
Chuck Norris doesent need a postage stamp... He just tells the letter where to go and it gets there.
Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
Even after muting "Walker, Texas Ranger", you can still hear Chuck Norris's victims screaming after getting roundhouse kicked.
The beatles originally said they were "Bigger than Chuck Norris", John Lennon was simply a warning.
When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
Chuck Norris has clicked the unclickable button... twice
Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact? A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has never won a single fight. Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.