The only reason Godzilla goes back into the ocean is because Chuck Norris is expecting him... for dinner.
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Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
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Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one.
When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face.
We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
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Chuck Norris finished the Never Ending Story.
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Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute.
The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.
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Chuck Norris dosn't have a star on Hollywood Blvd he has a constellation.
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When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
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Apple, Microsoft and Sony, among others, strive to invent the most cool device to please Chuck Norris, the fail all the time.
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