The only reason Godzilla goes back into the ocean is because Chuck Norris is expecting him... for dinner.
Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
Chuck Norris can get a Black-Jack with one card.
Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
Chuck Norris can locate the nowhere.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
Chuck Norris can make a robot bleed.