The only reason Godzilla goes back into the ocean is because Chuck Norris is expecting him... for dinner.
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The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who could truly judge a book by its' cover.
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Where was your mom last night?
At Chuck Norris' place.
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Ed and Lorraine Warren have the doll Anabelle locked in a glass case in their basement, a priest comes there every week to whisper Chuck Norris's name in its ear.
The doll locked itself in the case upon first hearing the name.
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When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
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Scientists believe that a giant meteor killed off the dinosaurs.
This is true, if you can consider Chuck Norris to be a giant meteor.
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Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
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Chuck Norris can drive to the moon... on foot.
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The fact that the evil killer doll from the movie 'Child's play' is named 'Chucky' is not a coincidence.
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